Fellow Parents: I Lie to My Kids Every Day (Here's Why You Should, Too) by Kim Wadsworth

Fellow Parents: I Lie to My Kids Every Day (Here's Why You Should, Too)

To keep my sanity, I lie to my kids. Every day. About everything. I work full time and then come home to two very active boys, ages 6 and 4. After dinner, dishes, homework, baths, packing lunches, breaking up fights, tickling backs and dodging Nerf bullets, I am ready for bed (at about 8!). My kids are constantly asking questions, whether they can eat something, go somewhere, do something, watch something or eat something again. So, to not lose my mind, I lie, and they believe me. Here are some common lies:

  • You must be 6 to watch Scooby-Doo.
  •  When the ice cream truck plays music, they are all out of ice cream.
  • Dave and Busters is closed because they need to clean the games.
  • If you don’t brush your teeth, bugs will poop in your mouth.
  • There is a man at all parks, malls, restaurants, etc., who will kick us out if you whine.
  • That same man will ask you if you took a nap and if you didn’t, we can’t enter.
  • The pizza place is out of pizza.
  • McDonalds is closed on Mondays.
  • Target is all out of toys.
  • You must be at least 8 to get a dog.

My kids are happy and life is a little calmer. Be calm and lie on, mom and dads!

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Donna John
Yes!!! Absolutely loved this, Kim Wadsworth ! My kids growing up thought there was a jail for everything (Not Doing Your Homework Jail, Lying Jail, Not Eating Dinner Jail, Messy Room Jail) and someone would come to the house to get them. Buh-bye. Good times. :-) McDonald's was closed a lot for them, too. Thanks for making me smile today, and welcome to the tribe! Ashlee Smith Katie Smith
Elisa All Schmitz 30Seconds
OK, I was LOL the whole time reading this tip! "When the ice cream truck plays music, they are out of ice cream." OMG, HILARIOUS, Kim Wadsworth ! Thank you for the laugh today. Needed it! Welcome to our 30Seconds tribe. So excited to read more from you!! :-)
Mike Prochaska
I told me kids that about ice cream
Truck I was so pissed when Neighoor told them the truth
Jessica Acree
We're clearly soul mates. Thanks for the laugh, it's all SO true! #survival101
Ann Marie Gardinier Halstead
I love this, Kim Wadsworth ! I have a feeling you are going to inspire a lot of lying! #parentingrolemodel Welcome to 30Seconds , sister. We are lucky to have you!
Nicole DeAvilla
Welcome to 30Seconds Kim Wadsworth -- we are all one BIG family! :)
Mike Prochaska
Told my kids once that DD didn’t have donuts on fridays
Mike Prochaska
I told my kids goodwill the toy store
Mike Prochaska
The paw patrol went on spring break so we can’t watch it on tv this week.
Tiffany Zook
I told my daughter that dragons live inside the mall.
Mike Prochaska
Omg this awesome! That would make mine want to goto mall
Dieter Schmitz
This is too darn funny Kim Wadsworth! You are talented - and a great mom. Just hope your kids don't find your tip ....
kagardinier
i don't think i'ver ever told my kid the truth.
Gina Pomering
Hahah! Love it! I have used the ice cream truck one before and I have several myself around the days of the week, nope can’t go to the military outlet bc they are closed by 4. 😂
Kathy Ast-Kutzbach
Love it! I learned a good one for when kids want to play outside with me: “I saw bees swarming out there.” Of course if they’re going with their friends, no bees. 😂
Stacey Roberts
And I thought telling my daughter as a toddler the candy in the checkout lane would make ouies on her teeth was a fib...now I know why I’m insane!
Tanya Kuzmanovic
i feel bad about lying - especially to my older kids - but i am guilty of saying "I don't know" a lot - even when I most definitely DO KNOW! For example - "Mom - what does gonorrhoea mean?" - LOL
Sarah Darrow
Yessssss! Love this!
Terri Jones
This is so funny ... and creative! I'm not a parent but I would actually enjoy coming up with these "lies"!!
Egan Patricia
I love it. Nice work.

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