Kids & Lying: Children Who Lie & The Parents Who Love Them by Tanya Kuzmanovic

Kids & Lying: Children Who Lie & The Parents Who Love Them

Something that only happens to clueless and disconnected parents happened to me the other day. My darling child looked me in the eyes and lied right to my stupid, trusting face. And my heart broke a bit.

While I quickly came to terms with my little angel being a two-bit, lying demon, I couldn't wrap my head around it. It didn't make sense. Why lie when the truth could be easily checked? And so, I did what any modern parent does when faced with a conundrum – I took to the Internet to find out where I went wrong. And according to the experts out there, I went wrong in several key areas:

  • I took the lie personally (my poor broken heart), which gave it undue power.
  • I didn't stop to think about the underlying reasons behind the lie (a hopeful bluff or a stalling tactic).
  • I didn't separate the behavior from the child. ("My kid lied" as opposed to "My kid is a no-good, lying demon.")

But here’s what I did right:

  • I handed down consequences to hit the child where it hurt. Two sets – one for the infraction and one for the lie.
  • I learned two valuable lessons: Sometimes I will need help in dealing with my kids, and sometimes they will look directly into my eyes and tell a lie.

How do you handle it when your kids lie?

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Elisa A. Schmitz 30Seconds
OMGoodness, this one is tough. That day when your sweet angel first lies to you can hit really hard. I hate to say this, but as a mom of teens, I have to share that you do get a bit used to it and it does get easier. My kids don't lie often, but when they do, it's pretty easy to tell. I don't let them get away with it. But, there have been times I have picked my battles and not pushed too hard. Sometimes, they are saving face, and so I may let them, depending on the situation. Gosh, parenting is hard! Hugs!
Joe Campbell
That is so cool that you are able to reflect on your parenting and educate yourself. I know you are the world to your child and whatever reason they had for lying you are so much more important.

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