Tattered, Not Broken: Sometimes Creating an Outlet for Your Pain Is the Best Medicine by Keith Sereduck

If fighting fibromyalgia has taught me anything, it's that once you run out of ammunition, the battle is over. One of the strongest weapons I have found is that finding an outlet for that pain to escape through is also a good means of distracting yourself from feeling the pain in the first place. A few months ago, I did a painting titled "Tattered, Not Broken." Painting has become a very important tool for me over the last year. I wrote a companion poem. I hope it can help you as much as it's helped me.

Tattered, Not Broken

Sometimes I think I'm cursed
Sometimes I know it's true
Don't know what to do
But it could be worse
I'm not dead
But still...
The thrill...
This year...
The worry. The pain. The fear.
In sickness, no health
Goes the money and wealth
And the bills pile higher than
My reach will allow
Want to climb out, but how?
And there it is,
Just as I said first
It's a curse...
It has to be
Something evil has touched me
I know you'll agree
I'm numb
And it's lost all fun
You should run,
Just run.
Just run like I have to
The need...
This disease that I feed
And I want to be freed
But no one sees
Or believes
In this pain
The pain with a name
I won't speak.
It'll win if you let it in
So I run
But I know it's always gaining
As the daylight hours are waning
With this voice inside me saying
"You're cursed."
I know.
But I've still got miles to go
And me?
I've got places to see
So I drag it along like a chain
And I've climbed a hundred mountains with this pain
And if it wasn't for bad luck
I'd be all out
No doubt
'Cept the ones in my head
The ones that say "You're not dead"
This I know.
Sometimes I think I'm cursed
Sometimes I know it's true
So I fight.
Tattered not broken
I fight
Let the pain pass unspoken
I can't doubt
I scream
Get it all out
And I walk with a smile on
My face
And I fight
I fight to get out of this place
In my head
"You're not dead"
Not cursed
Neither is better or worse
I'm here
And I'm there
I'm everywhere
And I live
And I hope
And I pray
That the day will soon come
I can say that I've won
And I'll know
And the doubt will no longer show
And I'll know I'm not cursed.
Not cursed.
Not dead
Nothing negative in my head.
Nothing negative in my head.
Because I am FAR from dead
As I rise to face the day
Happy thoughts are only spoken
There is one truth that I know
I am tattered,
I'm not broken.