Saving My Dad’s Life: A Father’s Day Reminder to Stop Waiting & Start Doing by Elisa Schmitz

The first time I helped save my dad’s life, I was a single mom of three young kids and my dad was an active and engaged grandfather. We had recently returned from Croatia, his homeland, where we’d spent many days exhaustively retracing his family’s early years before their eventual immigration to the United States after World War II.

Dad and me in the beautiful walled city of Dubrovnik, Croatia.

A few days after returning from that arduous trip, I drove my kids to the family lake home, a nine-hour drive. My parents drove to join us the following day. After they arrived, I knew something was wrong. My amazing dad, usually strong and energetic, was weak and lethargic. He spent some time at the dock with the kids, but I could tell that he just wasn't himself. First thing in the morning, when he was still not feeling well, I told him it was time to go to the emergency room.

Despite not feeling well, Dad took my kids fishing (they even caught a turtle).

Dad resisted, insisting nothing was wrong. He thought he was just tired from the drive and wanted to wait a few days to see if he felt better. But, knowing my dad and trusting my instincts, I knew we couldn’t wait. He needed to be examined as soon as possible, and I had to make it happen. “I’m not asking if you’d like to go,” I said, “I’m telling you we need to go.”

Thank goodness, he begrudgingly accepted my decision. After Dad was evaluated in the local emergency room, we were told that he’d been experiencing a series of heart attacks and would have died had I not brought him in. Tests showed he needed emergency quadruple bypass heart surgery.

EMTs transporated my dad (and mom) to our home hospital, nine hours away.

Life became a blur of taking action to ensure my dad’s survival. Arrange for an ambulance to transport Dad (and Mom) nine hours back to our home hospital, where he could get the best care possible? Check. Research and contact the best heart surgeons who could perform the surgery once we arrived back home? Check. Pack up the kids and car, lock down the lake house and drive us back home safely? Check. All the while, run my fledgling business to the best of my ability? Checkity check check check.

Thankfully, the surgery was a success. Although no one (including the surgeon) could believe the circumstances, all agreed it was a miracle that he survived – and would go on to thrive for 12 more years despite congestive heart failure and severe kidney disease.

My twin daughters were so happy to see Grandpa after a successful surgery.

Which brings me to the second time I helped save my dad’s life. A couple of weeks ago, I’d been trying to reach Dad (now 88) for a few days but could not, which isn’t totally unusual. Still, I had a feeling something wasn’t right. I finally got hold of him late on a Friday night and, as soon as I asked him how he was doing, it all came tumbling out. He felt unwell and had been retaining tons of fluid, gaining almost 20 pounds in just a few weeks. I told him I’d be there in the morning to take him to urgent care.

Again, he wanted to wait. “I have the whole weekend planned; I’ll go to the doctor on Monday,” he said. Feeling déjà vu, I again trusted my instincts. Like a dozen years ago, I’d have to make it happen. I repeated the words I used then: “I’m not asking if you’d like to go; I’m telling you we need to go.”

Those words again worked wonders because he replied, “Thank you, Elisa, I’m so relieved.” Dad needed me to make the decision for him and, once it was made, he knew it was the right thing to do.

Dad and I spent hours talking about life as we waited for him to be seen.

I picked him up the next day. After two hours of waiting at urgent care, the doctor who finally examined Dad sent us to the E.R., where Dad was triaged. We waited four more hours before he was taken to an exam room. There, he was given all the tests and was hooked up to all the monitors.

Alone in the exam room with Dad, watching the heart monitor broadcast his atrial fibrillation like a livestream, I saw the monitor lights change from green to red as they recorded his arrhythmia. The lights were accompanied by erratic heartrate numbers and, finally, a loud alarm. I grabbed the nurse, who got the doctor.

You'd never know Dad was suffering. He's so strong. Just look at that smile!

It turned out that Dad was experiencing a severe exacerbation of congestive heart failure and needed to be admitted to the hospital. The doctor told me, “It’s a good thing you brought him in – he could have died.” After several days of intense treatment, he lost most of the weight he’d gained, and his heart stabilized. On the way home after he was discharged, Dad was contemplative. “Elisa, you’re such a doer,” he said. “Thank you for saving my life, again.”

In that moment, I finally exhaled all the tension I’d been holding in for days. I cried tears of gratitude and relief. Dad and Mom had given me life and, despite my chaotic childhood, they’d led me in the right direction. I was grateful to help return the favor.

The quiet courage, the grit and resilience. I try to learn from Dad every day.

After I’d had time to process all that happened, I thought about what my dad had said. It’s true that I’m a doer. In fact, I dedicate my book, Become the Fire, to “the dreamers who want to be doers, and the doers who want to do more.”

Doers don’t wait. They don’t sit back in times of need or opportunity. Doers take leadership. They assess situations, make the tough calls then act. Dad had needed me to take the leadership role on his behalf. It certainly wasn’t easy – taking action requires courage and inner strength – but it led to the right outcome (twice).

Discharge day from the hospital. Pure joy!

If you’d like to move from dreaming to doing, then it’s time to take action. Whatever you may be waiting for – the right time, the right place, the right person, the right opportunity, a sign, or something else – here’s a gentle reminder to stop waiting and start doing.

Tomorrow isn’t promised. All we have is today. 

It’s time to be a doer. Choose to use this day to make a difference. Lean into your inner strength and find the courage to act. The world needs you to lead. Embrace life and make every moment count.

Wishing a very Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, and especially to my dad, who inspires me every day!

Order your copy of Become the Fire: Transform Life’s Chaos into Business and Personal Success.

You can visit Elisa's author website at ElisaSchmitz.com, and learn more about her book on achieving career and life success at BecomeTheFire.com.

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