The Importance of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) With Kelli Schulte! by Donna John

So much has been written about how critical Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is for one's academic, professional and personal success. But what is EQ and why is it so darn important? 30Seconds contributor Kelli Schulte, a certified EQ coach with Six Seconds, joined us this week to talk about the importance of EQ. Read on...

@tweenspot @IcoachEQ that is great!! I have very sensitive emotional daughters I need this talk tonight! #30SecondMom

— Amanda (@aeott26) October 20, 2016

Q: What do you think it means to have Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

• EQ is about being smart with your feelings, by blending thoughts and feelings together.
• EQ is about being self-aware so that you can identify and understand the meaning of your emotions.
• EQ is about choosing an intentional RESPONSE versus REACTing in the heat of the moment.
• EQ is about recognizing and connecting with others’ emotions and feelings.

@aeott26 @IcoachEQ @j_mostrom I believe if we fail our kids emotionally, nothing else we do matters #30SecondMom

— Holly @Tweenspot (@tweenspot) October 20, 2016

@IcoachEQ I need to re-train my brain and learn another way to stop and collect my thoughts 1st #30SecondMom

— Mindy Sharp (@MsMin) October 20, 2016

Q: The world would be a better place if we all learned to use EQ. Why do you think that is?

• People with greater than average EQ have healthier relationships.
• People with greater than average EQ are more effective.
• People with greater than average EQ have a greater sense of well-being. Less stress, greater balance and health.
• People with greater than average EQ have greater overall life.

@aeott26 @tweenspot So agree! People w/EQ pay attention to feelings. They don't stuff them or hide them! It is ok to feel!! #30SecondMom

— Kelli Schulte (@IcoachEQ) October 20, 2016

@tweenspot @IcoachEQ A2 Makes the world a kinder place. Everyone being to communicate kindly #30SecondMom

— Sharon (@PinkHippo13) October 20, 2016

Q: It’s important to help our kids grow in their EQ. What effect do you think EQ has on kids?

Kids with above average EQ:

• perform better at school
• have healthier relationships with peers and adults
• are less likely to engage in risky behaviors
• have way more empathy for those around them.

Are u working ur #EQ muscle? 11 practices 2start now! @IcoachEQ #30SecondMom #EmotionalIntelligenceAwarenessMonth https://t.co/7z0M3ncDmA

— Donna John (@donnas92) October 20, 2016

Q: What are some ways you can begin to develop your EQ?

Learn to stop and name your feelings. Feelings provide data points to help you navigate life. Recognize what feelings create an auto-pilot reaction. Example: When I feel disappointed, I hide how I really feel. Before you react with words, ask:

• Does this need to be said?
• Does this need to be said by me?
• Does this need to be said by me now?

Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand what else may be going on.

@tweenspot @IcoachEQ #30secondmom #EQ A4 i am not sure, but am such an emotional person, I really need this

— lorri langmaid (@lorri1956) October 20, 2016

Q: What happens when you experience an extreme emotion, like anger? What kind of autopilot reaction do you have?

When you perceive a threat, the brain bypasses the cortex (thinking brain) and moves directly to the Amygdala. The Amygdala sends out peptides and hormones. That’s why we tense up, or our heart races when we perceive threat. Those peptides dissipate after 6 seconds. That’s why your momma told you to count to 10 before you say anything! Sometimes this type of reaction can help us, other times, it can lead us to say something we regret later.

I think you are absolutely on target. So much rushing that we are rarely present in the moments. #30SecondMom https://t.co/4r5SDLYSGn

— Jan Mostrom (@j_mostrom) October 20, 2016

@tweenspot @IcoachEQ #30secondmom #EQ A5 I myself get very quiet. Sometimes just find a quiet place to yell or cry

— lorri langmaid (@lorri1956) October 20, 2016

Q: How do you think you can use EQ to prevent reacting in the heat of the moment so you can make an intentional choice?

• Pay attention to the many emotions that are bubbling up in the moment. If you can name them, you can tame them.
• Take a 30-second pause! Slow down so you don’t REACT. What are your emotions telling you?
• Engage the thinking part of your brain to navigate the emotion. What do you want to happen in this situation?
• Consider how the other person may be feeling. Maybe they are similar. Seek to understand and connect.

@IcoachEQ most important thing to know. We often say this in our home 😊 #30SecondMom pic.twitter.com/l21MqnBsrq

— Amanda (@aeott26) October 20, 2016

Q: How can you promote EQ at home, at work, at school?

• Talk about how you feel in the moment. Recognize patterns that lead to a reaction.
• Be a role model. Encourage others to talk about feelings. When blended with thinking, they can help us act with EQ.
• Catch yourself saying, “Don’t feel ____." We need to stop stuffing or ignoring feelings and instead learn what they mean.
• Listen more. Talk less. Seek to understand what is going on beneath the surface in others.
• Don’t forget to take that 30-second pause when you catch yourself reacting vs. choosing an intentional response.

8 secrets 2better #health, #academics & #happiness for ur #kids! @IcoachEQ #30SecondMom #EmotionalIntellligence #EQ https://t.co/IrLBqxSgoq

— Donna John (@donnas92) October 20, 2016

Be sure to follow  @IcoachEQ, visit EQcoaching.net, like her on Facebook and check out her 30Seconds page!