blog » March 25, 2019 by Renee Herren

Be Your Authentic Self & Embrace the Ridiculousness With Jen Coken by Renee Herren

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6 months ago
Be Your Authentic Self & Embrace the Ridiculousness With Jen Coken

Life is hard! From juggling responsibilities to making your way through life’s toughest moments – it can be overwhelming! Jen Coken is an author and life coach with 20 years of experience, and helps CEOs overcome their self-made limitations and reach new levels in their businesses and personal lives. Jen shared how we can all move forward and be our happiest self – personally and professionally.

Q: What are S.M.A.R.T. goals and why do you say they are stupid?

S.M.A.R.T. goals are:

  • Strategic
  • Measurable
  • Attainable
  • Realistic
  • Time Bound

They are great for business, but I think they are terrible for your personal life. S.M.A.R.T. goals stop you from dreaming. They stop you from playing full out and taking risks. S.M.A.R.T. goals also limit your creativity. You will never get outside of your comfort zone if you are focused on achieving every goal you set! Playing on the skinny branches is where we learn and grow. So, go for it!

Q: How can we actually stop our inner critic and where does it come from?

Our inner critic originally was designed to keep us safe. It sounds like an authoritarian figure from our childhood so we come by it naturally. You have to interrupt your brain patterns. The average person has 50,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day and 80 percent are negative. Start by identifying the voice and recognizing it isn’t actually you!

Q: Is it possible to play big without burning out?

Absolutely, if you deal with reality. Most of our burnout comes from all of the judgements we have about what we should do, or shouldn’t do, or did do, or didn’t do.Start by writing everything you have to do and handle in one place, not on multiple sticky notes all over your office or house.Then start to list all of those things on one spreadsheet. I call this a “reality checklist.” What makes us burnout is that we think we have a thousand things to do. In reality you have 32, or 47 or 163.Once you’ve made your list, start scheduling occasions in your calendar to get the work done. You can put things into your schedule months in advance. The key piece is to honor your schedule.

Q: My job requires me to network, but I hate it. What should I do?

I get it. I used to hate networking, too. I don’t like small talk. I like getting to know someone. It is SO annoying when you are speaking to someone and they are looking over your shoulder. Can I get an amen?

Networking is something we all have to do. Start by relating to these events as “connection” events – places where you are going to find the perfect people to help you in both your personal and professional life.

Next, be more focused on others than yourself. Ask these two questions. What has been the best part of your week so far? It is a great way to get people to talk about happy things, which will make you more memorable.

The second question is, “How can I contribute to your success?” People are really blown away by this question because they are used to folks yammering on about themselves. Try it next time you are at an event!

Q: Can we talk boundaries? Should we have them and how do we go about setting them?

Yes! Especially you people pleasers out there. We rarely know our own boundaries because we are so used to sacrificing for others. Usually we figure out our boundaries only after we violated them, which is nearly always too late.

Before you say yes, think about whether you are doing something from the goodness of your heart, or to be liked, well thought of – you get the drift. Once you learn to say no, you can truly be a HELL YES!

Q: How can people learn more about you, your books and your services?

Go to my website JenCoken.com. There is a lot of information about my coaching programs and the topics I speak on. I also offer a free workbook to discover what makes you successful. We so often focus on what didn’t work, let’s figure out what does so we can repeat it. To get it, just go to JenCokenFreebie.com. I also always offer a free 30- to 45-minute coaching call. You will have a breakthrough and we’ll see if we are a fit. To book that, just go to DiscoveryWithJen.com. You can buy both my books on Amazon or request them at your local bookstore or find me on LinkedIn or Facebook

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