Does Unresolved Hurt From the Past Have You Looking From the Outside In? I Hope So... by Stephanie Cannoe

6 years ago

Does Unresolved Hurt From the Past Have You Looking From the Outside In? I Hope So...

Let’s face it, being human is hard. Unresolved hurt from the past does trigger fear in response and an array of other less-than-ideal reactions. I had this happen the other day. At the time a seemingly insignificant event triggered emotion way beyond what the circumstance called for. When I reflected on the situation later that was clear, but in the moment I was captured by what I thought was happening now, what I believed to be true about this person and/or circumstance. My past pain had a grip on me, including my emotions, beliefs and reactions. To top it all off, I communicated from this place of pain solidifying the pattern, by making it real once again.

I saw myself from the outside in and this burst my own bubble. I became aware of a previously unconscious pattern of behavior for the first time. My attempt to not relive the past, to protect myself from further hurt, only caged the hurt. I was NOT OK, yet I was trying to prove that I was to justify my guarded position.

To surrender I had to acknowledge the raw underbelly from a place of personal power and own my state of mind. This takes real courage, sharing what’s in your heart is very vulnerable, especially when the other person is the perceived source of your pain. What I’ve learned is that in order to break free from the hold this pain has on my heart, I need to let go of the storyline.

So, when you’re ready to see your pain in a brand-new light, take a deep breath, tune into your heart and take a leap of faith. 

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Elisa Schmitz
"My past pain had a grip on me, including my emotions, beliefs and reactions." I've been there, Stephanie Cannoe . Thank you for this wonderful post. Your words always inspire me! xoxo
Stephanie Cannoe
Thank you! @elisa. Always learning, ...lessons worth living for. 😘
Toni B
If the source of your pain has passed away or cannot be contacted, you're unable to address the past situation. But you could write a letter to them and put your feelings down on paper to get them out. If you're really brave you can let someone else read the letter too.
Elisa Schmitz
Oh, that’s an interesting idea, Toni B ! Writing is therapeutic for me! Stephanie Cannoe
Stephanie Cannoe
Writing is therapeutic for me too! Hence the tip. ;)
Stephanie Cannoe
Toni B Very true. Great suggestion and I have done the same when the other person is not emotionally available to have that conversation.
S Roberts
The only way out is through!

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