Transformational Tenets to Meet Your Goals: 3 Pitfalls to Positive Change & How to Avoid Them by Anne O. Boudreau

Improving your sense of self-worth and boosting your confidence are keys to meeting your goals and resolutions. I queried a large number of people from diverse backgrounds throughout the course of the last several years, asking why personal change is difficult and often unattainable. Although multiple factors were mentioned, the inability to maintain one’s commitment was by far the most pervasive reason.

Common pitfalls include:

• Low sense of self-worth: Lack of self-worth and confidence sabotages our ability to make changes. From my interviews with dozens of trauma survivors [I learned] self-worth makes us more likely to follow through with making changes.

• Fear of change: Fear stunts. Fear of changing oneself cripples one’s life. This is the case for millions of people who settle for the "comfort" of living with what they know, as opposed to taking a leap of faith.

• Trying to force change: It comes as no surprise that in most cases in which we force ourselves to achieve a tangible result, our old pattern of behavior typically comes screeching back.

To overcome these pitfalls, here are three “transformational tenets” for achieving goals:

1. Understand that enduring change requires a commitment beyond desire and motivation. It takes a deep, comprehensive understanding of what you want to achieve, a conviction to which you are resolutely devoted. This includes upfront evaluation and analysis, preparation, daily timelines and goal attainment markers. Every meaningful challenge we pursue in life deserves this level of forethought and care.

2. Accept and welcome change. Change can and will happen, so you might as well choose to commit to the kind of change that will transform your life. But choosing to change is a personal pledge, not just another goal to add to your list. You are not resolving to start exercising on January 1. You are committing to changing your life.

3. Focus on the positive, not the negative. Athletes are trained to possess steadfast confidence, to have positive, energizing internal language or self-talk, to overcome anxiety or frustration through mental discipline, to be highly motivated at all times, to have intense focus and commitment and to envision their winning performance.

Our greatest source of motivation comes from positive, inspiring thoughts and energizing ideas. You can’t change your past, but you can change your future by transforming your thoughts and emotions, which dictate attitude and drive behavior, reactions and responses.

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