blog » May 17, 2019 by Renee Herren

I'm Married ... Now What? Understanding & Building Intimacy With Life Strategist Coach Leona Carter! by Renee Herren

Blog Relationships
3 months ago
I'm Married ... Now What? Understanding & Building Intimacy With Life Strategist Coach Leona Carter!

All forms of intimacy are important and are needed to keep a relationship strong. Intimacy is a vital part of staying connected no matter if you are newly married, just starting a new relationship or are in a long-term relationship. The need for intimacy and closeness with others is obvious, but how to nurture and build intimacy is not. 

Leona Carter is an international empowerment speaker, best-selling author, life strategist and talk show host. She empowers women to makeover their relationships by building long-lasting intimacy. Leona helped us learn how to nourish our relationships!

Q: How long have you been married and what started the journey for helping other wives?

"I married my high-school sweetheart almost 24 years ago! Early in my marriage, I realized I struggled with intimacy issues, but I did not know exactly what that meant. I had a great husband but didn’t understand why I lacked a normal sex drive to respond to him as eagerly as he responded to me. I knew something wasn’t right, but I also felt like I was the only one dealing with this struggle."

Q: Did this put a strain on your marriage?

"Yes, this put a huge pressure on our marriage. As a young woman, I didn’t know I could talk to someone. I did not know who to talk to. It felt so personal to me I didn’t think anyone else was dealing with the same thing I did."

Q: What happen that made you realize you may need help?

"One year, sex became painful and I consulted my doctor. It resulted in 10 weeks of physical therapy to reshape my pelvic floor. Having a conversation about my personal issues with my doctor brought awareness that I was not alone. My doctor stated some of the commonalities that other women have, too. A few years later, I experienced pain again during sex and this time it resulted in a full hysterectomy. I began to realize that my body does not respond like others. I knew I was, as I like to put it, uniquely wired."

Q: After years of dealing with various challenges, how did you begin to build intimacy with your husband?

"One evening we had a heated argument and words were said and feelings got trampled on and I knew I had to do something. I talked to counselors, sex therapists and relationships coaches. I started having conversations with my husband about sex and stopped expecting him to know how I was feeling. I began to paint a clearer picture for him to see. We had to be intentional about scheduling date night."

Q: How do you help women create intimacy with their companion and build stronger relationships?

"I created an online course called, The Wedding Night: Five Questions You Were To Afraid To Ask Then But Are Ready To Ask Now. I outline five questions that, maybe if I had the guts to ask on my wedding night, I could have cleared up some things WAY earlier. But honestly, when is the RIGHT time to ask the hard questions? I help women have the hard conversation with their husbands through videos and focus questions. There is not much help to understand how to bridge the gap from virtuous to sensuous."

Q: Are there many women that struggle with building intimacy with their husbands?

"Yes, many women struggle with intimacy and the divorce rate is above 50 percent. During my market research, I heard from over 200 women in a seven-day period sharing how they, too, struggle with building intimacy with their husbands. The problem is common, but talking with someone about it is less common. I have to focus on not just connecting physically with my husband. I had to teach myself and then teach my husband how to make love with our clothes on. Our emotions had to first be connected. There were times I would be physically connected, but my emotions were nowhere to be found."

Q: What is one of the most important questions covered in your course, The Wedding Night?

"'How often are we going to have sex?' This was a question in the back of my mind when I first got married. I thought spouses were expected to have sex every day. I was a young bride. I now understand the frequency is about your ability to communicate your needs. When we assume, well you know what they say about ass-u-me. Rather than going off misguided information I gave myself, I now communicate with my husband. It’s so much easier that way!"

Q: How can people learn more about you and your services?

"You can learn more about me on Twitter at @heycoachcarter (my handles across social media platforms). You can also learn more about me at HeyCoachCarter.com and click “WIVES” for a free guide to building intimacy with your husband. And be sure to read my 30Seconds tips!"

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