I have a 13-year-old girl that is sweet, kind, loving, generous and responsible. She does everything she is supposed to and her behavior very good. The only problem is her mouth! I feel like it's her hobby to tell me I am wrong or stupid daily. I used to argue with her and scream at her when she did that, but that was not working. I started to try to see why she was doing it. Many reasons seemed to be the answer:
- testing limits
- seeking independence
- the ever-dreaded hormone fluctuations
So here is what I do now, and with better results: I tell her she is not allowed to disrespect me, but may nicely tell me her thoughts on anything in a respectful way even if her view is different from mine. Then I always make sure to say that even when she talks rudely to me, I still love her no matter what more than anything! This approach seems to end the confrontation quickly.
Mouthy teens are hard to deal with, and I sometimes want to yell and argue with her, but it helps no one so I breathe, count and respond in a loving way. I want to build my girl up instead of breaking her down. LOVE is always the answer.
Take 30 seconds and join the 30Seconds community. Inspire and be inspired.
You're so right, understanding that the reasons include pushing boundaries, looking for independence -- that helps because loosening restrictions, instead of keeping them static and watching The Mouth try to push through them -- better results there too.
Thank you again!