"Do You Ever Cry, Dad?": Why I Wrote This Father's Guide to Surviving a Breakup by I.J. Schecter

People often ask me why I wrote the book, Do You Ever Cry, Dad? They assume it must been very difficult and emotional to write, and they wonder why I would want to put myself through that wringer all over again, in a different form of expression.

It’s true that the book was extremely difficult to write. In the process of putting everything down, I was forcing myself to relive many of the worst moments we experienced as a family, many of the hardest and most desperate moments I’ve known as a father, and, of course, the most awful period of my kids’ lives. But one of the most important things that allowed me to persevere through this very dark time was the support and kindnesses of others – and that’s why I wrote "Do You Ever Cry, Dad?"

There were countless days, even hours, when I wasn’t sure I could get through, and a decent word or gesture from a friend, family member or, sometimes, stranger, allowed me to get past that moment and reach the next.

And that’s what my kids needed: for me to be able to stay strong and resilient so that I could help guide them through the stages of grieving that a family split requires. It is hard enough for the adults in the situation to handle. For kids, it is a horrible bombshell to their very existence. As parents trying to help them through, we have very little likelihood of giving satisfactory or reassuring answers. Usually, the best one can do is stay present, be there for them, giving love and shelter consistently and constantly.

So many others helped me endure this painful transition that I wanted to try to pay it forward and do whatever I might to help other dads, and in turn, their kids.

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