When Your Super Smart & Sassy Daughter Goes to Overnight Camp (From Her Super Sassy Mother) by Dawn Taylor

My daughter, Peyton, is almost through a "dreadful" week at "nerd camp.” There on full scholarship, the STEAM camp for girls represents only the best and brightest. My daughter was excited … 'til she got there.

• Day 1: "Mom, it's like a prison here, cement walls and floors!" Later in the day during our FaceTime she pans the room showing me again that the dorm resembles the clink. I say, "If you do the crime, you do the time." She's not laughing.

• Day 2: "Mom, the food isn't fit for humans! Can I please come home?" I say just give it more time, it can't be that bad. I forget I'm on FaceTime and she notices my DQ Blizzard. "You're torturing me, Mom!"

• Day 3: "Mom, the girls aren't friendly." I ask if she is relaxing her RBF (google it) a little. FaceTime assures me RBF is fully activated. I tell her to smile more.

• Day 4: "Mom, just pick me up early? This camp sucks. I'm learning nothing new." I suggest she ask if she can teach the class. Her evil eye raise is all I see on FaceTime.

• Day 5: "Mom, I had to stay all week! Look at my hair!" Her summer humidity hair is on point. I try not to laugh. I write myself a note to buy more argan oil. And wine. 

I'll need it for her camp/clink stories.

Photo: Peyton has escaped!