Unfriended: When to Say Goodbye to a Friendship & Just Let It Go Relationships

Kristan Wager
6 years ago

So, there I was, trolling Facebook, liking, commenting and generally wasting an hour of my life checking out the lives of others when I noticed that someone was missing. A friend who usually commented, liked and followed my life was suddenly not there. Was this a Facebook fast? Was everything OK in her life? Had I missed a major life event that made her drop off Facebook?

No. I had been "unfriended.’’

Whoa. That hurt. Me? Why? What happened? How did years of friendship result in being unfriended without a discussion? Couldn’t she just unfollow me? My husband and I discussed it. “Let it go,” he advised. “Clearly she has moved on.” Let it go? But, it was not fair. It hurt. We needed to talk about this and make it right. How could all those years of memories be worth nothing? But how to have the conversation? “Hi, why did you unfriend me?” seemed a bit harsh.

I stewed for days, mourning the loss and then decided he was right. Letting go was the right choice. Holding leads to deeper hurt. If she decides to have the conversation someday, then we will see what happens. Forcing a confrontation will not help. Letting go frees me from the hurt.

Goodbye old friend, I wish you well.

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Comments (5)

Elisa Schmitz
As social media becomes a bigger part of our lives, unfriending is becoming more and more of a "real" problem rather than a virtual one. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, Kristan Wager . For what it's worth, I think letting it go is the right way to go, too!
Barbara Tennant
I'm happy I didn't unfriend you or I wouldn't have been able to read this! So hard to understand. I have been unfriended myself a few times.
Mike Prochaska
As they say in frozen let it go
Donna John
Agreed to just let it go. It's happened to me, too. Things usually have a way of working out how they're supposed to.
Julio Caro
Thanks For Sharing.....
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