Passive-Aggression: What Is Passive-Aggressive Behavior & How Can It Harm a Relationship? by Dr. Bethany Cook Clinical Psychologist
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Q. What is passive-aggressive behavior and how can it harm a relationship?
Passive-aggressive behavior refers to a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. Like when someone says "You're surprisingly good at this!” or they act like they don’t understand a request or situation, such as saying, "I didn't know you wanted that done" when the expectation was clearly communicated.
Other ways passive aggressive behaviors show up in relationships:
- Agreeing to do something but then complaining about it afterward, like saying, "Sure, I’ll help you move" while internally feeling burdened and expressing that through actions.
- Refusing to comply with requests or expectations in an indirect manner, often accompanied by sulking or a negative attitude.
- Using sarcastic remarks or comments that might seem humorous on the surface but carry a sting of negativity.
- Ignoring or refusing to speak to someone as a way to express anger or dissatisfaction without directly confronting the issue.
This type of communication leads to unhappy relationships filled with stress because instead of resolving issues, passive-aggressive behavior exacerbates conflicts. Unaddressed feelings can build up, leading to larger arguments or breakups overtime.
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