Narcissist Abuse: Because of My Daily Abuse From a Narcissist, Should I Seek Therapy? by Dr. Sanam Hafeez

Q. Because I put up with narcissist abuse on a daily basis, I have started questioning myself. Why do I think it's OK for this person to talk to me that way? Why do I put up with it? Should I go to therapy?

A. Being subject to a narcissist is a form of abuse. It is easy to feel as if you have lost your own compass as the narcissist seeks to brainwash his or her victim. It erodes one’s self-esteem and self-worth and it is often hard to recall the person you once were.

It is not uncommon to second guess or doubt yourself. Many in these relationships blame themselves as if they did something to cause the abuse. This often leads to embarrassment and shame. That is the abuser’s goal, as it keeps the victim from reaching out for help.

It is also common for people in a narcissist relationship to be indecisive and become confused making simple decisions. Some remain in relationships because the abuse has chipped away at their confidence and they are left with anxiety and low self-esteem. You might feel as if you would have received better treatment if you had acted differently or were “worthy” of more.

Therapy? This depends on the duration of the relationship, the toll it has taken on your mental health and the consequences it has had on your personal and professional life. If you feel that it has changed the way you function and feel about yourself, and how you present yourself outwardly and how you feel inwardly, as well as the choices you make, therapy would be a good idea to sort through the experience you have gone through and make sense of cognitive distortions. If co-dependence is an issue for you, a 12-step group such as Co-Dependents Anonymous can be a good adjunct on the healing path.

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