The Hidden Side of Miscarriage: Why Don't We Talk About It? by Janine Owens

Mental Health
6 months ago
The Hidden Side of Miscarriage: Why Don't We Talk About It?

I miscarried in 2011. I had a 3-year-old daughter at the time we found out we were (unexpectedly) pregnant. There were so many mixed emotions – happiness, fear, amazement and pure shock. I remember ordering a "Big Sister" shirt and took a picture of my daughter outside of our apartment complex on our way to our first ultrasound. The joy on her face was indescribable.

When we got to the doctor's office and after settling into the ultrasound table, I can remember every detail so clearly. The furrowed brow of our tech, the squinting of her eyes, the fleeting concern wash over her face that quickly turned to a professional look as she turned to us and said, "Let me get the doctor, I'll be right back."

That's the day we discovered that the baby had no heartbeat. No explanation why? "These things just happen," our doctor told us. I had a D&C about a week later. We went on to have two healthy, beautiful children, but the shadow of that miscarriage is always with me. 

Why don't we talk about it? Why haven't I talked about it? Because it isn't something that can be explained. I don't have the reason for why we don't talk – but we should. Talk to a fellow mama. Talk to me.

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Donna John
It's bee a while since I've teared up reading a tip. So sorry for your loss. I agree, it shouldn't be a taboo subject. I hope this post helps someone reach out and talk about it. Hugs to you, Janine Owens .
Elisa All Schmitz 30Seconds
Oh, my. What an incredible story. The emotions run so deep. Thank you for sharing this, Janine Owens . Your daughter is so beautiful and radiant, like you. I love that photo. I'm sorry for your loss. I appreciate you opening the dialogue to this, as I'm sure many can relate. xoxo
Janine Owens
Thank you so much for the kind words. It will always stay with me but I got two additional wonderful children as a result, so I always look for silver linings, even in the dark :)
Francielle Daly
I believe this is something we should talk about too! After losing our baby at 20 weeks, I was a complete reck but talking about it and being completely transparent about this helped with healing on a whole other level. I also found out by opening up I wasn’t alone. I wrote a chapter about my miscarriage in my upcoming collaborative book since I knew this is something to start opening up about. Thank you for sharing and being so open about your experience! It matters.

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