"You get what you get and don't throw a fit."
Oh, how I dislike this phrase. It is a phrase often used on toddlers and preschoolers, many who are filled with big emotions. Many don't know how to cope with their emotions. If they are constantly being told you "get what you get" or a version of "too bad, too sad," they never learn coping mechanisms or how to deal with big emotions. Most of the time, their emotions have nothing to do with what they are upset about.
Think about adults: Do we want to be told how to feel, or do some of us need time to regroup our emotions and time to stew and calm down. I know for myself I need time.
Children do not have the proper reasoning skills to think and calm down before reacting to their emotions. It is our job to help them with this and give them time so they aren't reacting on emotions. So many battles could be diminished if we worked with the emotion instead of making it a control issue, so to speak.
Also, once you help them regain their composure, you can help them use words on how to ask for what they would like. Negotiation skills are so important. If they are constantly told you "get what you get," how are they going to learn to stand up for themselves and speak up when something is wrong?
Our job isn't to control children, but rather to teach and show them coping skills and mechanisms to deal with huge emotions. How to cope with disappointments and how to speak up for their needs and wants.
I'm not saying give into a child who throws a fit, but to help them cope with their emotions. There is a big difference. You can teach strategies without giving in.
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