Raising a challenging child requires verbal control. How you deliver what you say (tone and facial expressions included) and how it’s interpreted by your child can have a huge impact on his or her future feelings about their self-worth.
I was raised in an environment where if I did something wrong (whether it be by accident or on purpose) it was my fault, here is the consequence and do not do it again. When working with challenging children, especially ones with low self-esteem, it is important to remember that they are receiving almost triple the amount of negative feedback as their peers.
I am seeing a huge change in my child as I approach him with statements like, “I know you didn’t mean to do/say that” and “How could this have been handled differently?” These are “positive” deliveries. I started tracking how many times I say something positive to my child daily. You would be surprised at how much your relationship improves and how happy your child becomes by saying five kind comments to your child a day.
In the end, you and your child are happier when you discuss situations instead of making accusations, and you are cognizant of how positive you are with your child daily.