Take Care of Yourself & Live Long for Those Who Love You (The Reason I Am Still Alive) by Samantha Harris
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The people I love are literally the only reason I am still alive.
Since 2020, I've gradually been making changes in my life. I left the town I felt was destroying my soul. I moved near the ocean, whose call has drawn me in ever since I was small. I stopped prioritizing work over my family and loved ones. I started saying "I love you" more. I set boundaries and removed people who didn't respect them from my life. I learned to be more patient. I learned to be more present. I talked more and yelled less. I began a journey toward self-love and acceptance.
I have worked on mind and spirit, so this year I have been working on body. I made all the appointments I have been putting off over the years. I'm facing all the physical problems that have building up. I'm learning how to take better care of myself.
Recently, a close relative passed, I was reminded of why my efforts are so important when my son squeezed me and cried, "You can't die. You can't leave me."
Of course, I can.
And I will.
But that doesn't mean I have to make it sooner than it needs to be. There will always be things out of my control, but there is still so much I can do.
I want all the years. I want all the time. I want to squeeze every ounce of life out of this incarnation. I want to be strong enough to punch Death in the face when they come knocking and fight them off for as long as I possibly can. For me, yes, but more than that. For my kids. For the people I will leave behind. When I'm gone there won't be anything for me to regret anymore. I am gone. But there will be a hole where I used to be in the lives of my loved ones. And to save them from having to feel that burden too soon, I have to be the best version of myself I can possibly be.
As someone who is well acquainted with the darkness, love has become my life's purpose, my sole motivation. Love is what keeps me alive.
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