Sorry, I’m Not Sorry, Matt Lauer! Here's What Being a Survivor of Sexual Assault & Exploitation Means by Brittany Moffatt

Opinion
a year ago
Sorry, I’m Not Sorry, Matt Lauer! Here's What Being a Survivor of Sexual Assault & Exploitation Means

I love living in this time of female empowerment and #metoo. I love watching people who’ve abused their power for decades and gotten away with it fall. However, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that as a sexual assault survivor it hurts every morning! The endless headlines and conversations feel a little too late and it burns like a fresh blister on my heel after walking miles in new high heels. I’m so grateful, proud and astounded by these courageous women coming forward. Thank you for your voice and sacrifice. You have already suffered in ways many don’t understand.

  • Being a survivor means wondering who to tell and when.
  • Being a survivor means worrying about your livelihood.
  • Being a survivor means worrying about your reputation.
  • Being a survivor means questioning your own integrity.
  • Being a survivor means asking what you should have done to prevent it.
  • Being a survivor means asking WHY?

Really the only reason is that predatory behavior is about power and control. But that’s the last thing you feel when you’re in a hallway frantically pushing the call button for the elevator and your boss is forcing you against a wall trying to kiss you as you bend and bow in an attempt to get away.

Being a survivor is telling your story! #metoo

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Ann Marie Gardinier Halstead
Thank you for sharing, Brittany Moffatt ! I think you've captured what many are feeling right now.
Elisa All Schmitz 30Seconds
Yes, Brittany Moffatt ! Thank you for sharing this. It’s an empowering time right now, as so many women share their survival stories. Thank you for putting into words what so many of us are feeling. It’s bittersweet, indeed. #metoo
Stacey Roberts
I commend you for your bravery to disclose this, because the backlash of doing so can sometimes be just as bad as the assault.
When I was in the 8th grade we got a new teacher/coach. He was married with 2 young boys, but right from the start he gave me the creeps. Then when I was a sophomore he became the girl’s basketball coach. On our first away game he insisted he had to come into our locker room to cut the tape off ankles. Upon entering he said to go ahead and get undressed we didn’t have anything he hadn’t already seen. The layout of the locker room was divided by a partition which he was on the other side, yet anyone with peripheral vision could see the girls following his instruction in the dressing area. A friend and I said to each other we didn’t care if we missed the bus, we weren’t getting undressed til he left. The following mon my friend and I went to the principal and told him what he’d done. After some deliberation an off the record meeting was arranged with the school board. My friend ended up bailing on me as did my parents, so there I was sitting before 9 men doing everything in their power to dismantle my claim. They were trying to get some tenured teachers and he was their best bet and I was clearly on course to derail that endeavor. Throughout that year and the next I was heckled by people in the very small community as being a trouble maker and blowing things out of proportion. I had to take chemistry my junior year and he was the teacher. Right to begin with while I was at a lab table by myself he came back and quietly said to me, “so, will you not cause anymore problems and let’s be friends”? By oct i had decided to be an exchange student my senior year, it was the only way I could get out of there. Which I did go to Japan through Rotary International. Fast forward 10 years, I was living in Portland OR when I got a call from the Wyoming attorney general. He told me they had arrested him and had 19 counts against him but there were many more who hadn’t come forward or did, but wouldn’t press charges. He asked me if I wanted to as well, but I declined. The incident that got him caught involved an 8th grade girl he’d persuaded to...it makes me sick to say it, so I won’t. Her dad was the type to shoot first, ask questions later, so when he found out he walked into the principal’s office with a loaded gun and demanded they tell him where that (insert long list of obscene adjectives) was because he was going to blow his head off for what he’d done to his daughter. And given the guy only served 3 years I don’t think anyone would’ve blamed him for blowing his head off and he probably would’ve had he not already been in police custody. Even though he bullied me, I never let him hurt me like the other girls did innocently. He was very cunning so he never had to force himself on them, they just fed out of his hand so to speak. Most of these girls didn’t have a father figure and as is textbook behavior he provided what looked like fatherly love. After hearing how many had fallen victim I felt guilty I didn’t do more to get him fired even to the point of fabricated assaults, but I really didn’t know at the time how bad he was. For those who had who demeaned me, later couldn’t look me in the eye. And like those who know and allow for this behavior to continue when they have the power to stop it are also to blame, in my opinion.
Brittany Moffatt
Thank you for your story and post! It truly is remarkable the lengths companies, schools, churches etc. go to protect these people. I found out after that my predator had paid out two other woman six figures (well, the company did) to get them to go away. I was furious. HE NEEDED TO LEAVE! Not the women. I’m also astounded at the short sentences for these crimes. My aunt was attacked, threatened and raped after a man broke into her house and I don’t think he served five years. He also raped many others. Hopefully this is the beginning of a MAJOR culture shift!
Elisa All Schmitz 30Seconds
Agreed, Brittany Moffatt - hopeful that this is a watershed moment for our culture. Needs to happen! #metoo
Elisa All Schmitz 30Seconds
OMG, Stacey Roberts ! I am so sorry about what you went through. This is so upsetting, on many levels. Appreciate you sharing. #metoo

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