Balancing Attention With Kids: What to Do When One Child Needs More Time! by Cynthia Miller
What do you do when one child in your family is having some particularly acute challenges, and other other child or children seem to be rocking along on a typical path? Here's some help!
- Talk openly about it in a non-embarrassing way! "Your brother is having some real challenges right now. I know that means I'm spending more time with him, but that is not because I love him more. We will get through this, and in the meantime, what can I do with you to make you know how special you are to me?"
- Make time to do special things with the other children. Pedicure day for mom and daughter? Special swim date for dad and son? Going to get your son's favorite ice cream as a family? Watching a family movie and snuggling with your daughter? If you are trying earnestly to let the other kids know you love them just as much, they will feel it, see it and respond to it.
- Most of all, don't assume that somehow the other children will understand. Think of when you were little and how easy it was to think that a sibling got more attention -- even if that wasn't actually the case!
Watch the attention balance, be open and honest, and let all your children know you care about their feelings, too!