Ghosting: 6 Signs That Could Signal It's About to Happen! by Donna John
Right before Esme Oliver’s 40th birthday, she jaunted off to Italy to have some fun. She immediately met a charming chef who was six years her junior. After returning to the States, they developed a relationship and she fell in love with him. They talked, texted and emailed constantly, anxiously making plans to see each other again. Only one week before her departure, he stopped responding to texts and refused to take her phone calls. She never heard from him again. Esme, the author of "Smoke Drink F*#k," was ghosted. Ghosting is a painful experience. It's not only shocking, it's also an experience that leaves you feeling confused and empty. Here are a few signs that Esme says you may see that should signal the red flag:
- Massive Large Doses of Affection: Be very cautious of guys who pour on the affection, privately and in public, and dole out an enormous amount of compliments. This type of attention can be intoxicating, but remember they are just words. Anyone can say anything. In sum, if it feels too good to be true, it probably is.
- Sporadic "Check Outs": If the guy has been sending you constant texts and blowing up your phone then stops for a little bit, be wary. This could be a sign that they are going to check out for good soon. You should not be the person to constantly initiate communication. If you do, this is your insecurity and your desperate attempt to hold on.
- Failure to Make Concrete Plans: If he is communicating with you through text and email regularly, but never makes a definitive plan to get together, then you should be on guard. Men like attention and he may even like you, but he probably needs attention from a lot of women and may be on the precipice of ghosting you for a perceived better catch.
- Relationship Talk: If he starts to talk about past failed relationships or his difficulties associated around relationships, listen. If he has had a litany of failed relationships, he just may not be ready for this one.
- Not Responding to Texts or Calls Promptly Anymore: Typically, the ghosting type of man will immediately respond to texts or calls. He will feed you lines such as, “Sorry I can't talk right now. In a meeting. Will call after.” This is tricky because it makes you believe they care about you and are incredibly emotionally available. Be alert when these type of responses cease, which they often do. You may be on the verge of being ghosted.
- Lots of Excuses for Absences: Men who are checking out on you and on the verge of disappearing for good, tend to be cowards who simply cannot tell the truth. “I'm just not that into you.” When you start to question them, they will make up “good” excuses: “Work is so busy now.” “Traveling nonstop with work.” Most often, they will blame work. Watch for these lame excuses. They usually are a harbinger of things to come.
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