I’m a verbal processor. I have to talk everything out loud, even if no one else is in the room. (I know… awkward.) Recently, I was processing out loud with a friend and she reacted with a series of things I “should” do. Whoa. I wasn’t asking for a solution. Maybe a shake of the head every now and then, or a few “hmmms,” but definitely not a solution. I left the conversation feeling defensive. AND THEN IT HIT ME. How many times PER DAY do I do this with my kids!? If I LISTEN and FIX, how am I impacting their:
- confidence
- ability to apply consequential thinking and navigate their emotions
- willingness to share with me in the future
For the next 48 hours, I worked on:
- listening
- empathizing
- being curious
It was a lot harder than it sounds, but it opened up a lot of conversation!