Kids Whine? Try This Parenting Technique That Really Works! Parenting

Cynthia Miller
6 years ago

Do you have a child that whines in the family? I sure do. If she asks for something and I say no, I get major wailing and gnashing of teeth. No one succeeds in life doing this, so no time like the present to get those advocacy skills going!

When the whining starts, I say, "Give me three reasons I should say yes." It's revealing how hard it is for kids to come up with good reasons, which means this is great cognitive training for them.

  • Daughter: "Mom can I play on my iPad when I get home?"
  • Mom: "No, please do your homework first." "WHINEEE…"
  • Mom, interrupting: "OK give me three good reasons."
  • Daughter (after sniffling and saying she doesn't have any good reasons, and me reminding her that we've done this before and she always has good reasons): "I finished almost all my homework I only have two math problems. I always get off the iPad when you ask me to, and I will help you do the dishes."
  • Mom (thinking, oh wow, this is actually a very reasonable argument): "OK, dishes first then 15 minutes on the iPad."

Obviously, there will never be three good reasons to, say, fly to Disney right that second – some things will be a no, no matter what. But it's a great exercise for everyday navigation!

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