Marriage Struggles: If You're Playing the Blame Game, the Relationship Loses by Holly Brown MFT

Sometimes when you’re struggling in your relationship, you might jump to conclusions. You might blame your partner. Pain can make us short-sighted, and it’s hard to take in the whole picture. But creating meaningful change starts by taking stock of what’s really happening. So here are some questions to help you hold yourself and your partner accountable in a way that can lead to an improvement in your relationship.

• What, precisely, is happening? 
• What are your emotional triggers? Your partner’s? 
• Can you and your partner agree to try to stop pushing each other’s buttons?

Relationships are dynamic. Each partner plays a role, and it’s not apportioning blame that pulls you out of distress; it’s working together.