"You Should've Asked": Have You Seen the Comic Showcasing the Mental Load of Moms? by Kim Kusiciel

Headlines Motherhood
6 years ago

"You Should've Asked": Have You Seen the Comic Showcasing the Mental Load of Moms?

A comic titled "You Should've Asked" has been flying all over the Internet. It depicts how some moms and dads carry the workload in their homes, but more importantly the "mental load." You may know what I am referring to:

  • keeping that never-ending, always-growing list in your head regarding what your kids need
  • the jelly you need to replenish
  • the check you have to write for the class trip
  • the form to fill out
  • the "oh crap, I need to pay that bill"

And so ... much ... more. Regardless of your opinion on the comic, it's a wonderful conversation starter with your partner or your friends. It might be the springboard you need to discuss this topic if it resonates with you. It might not! Either way, it's garnishing quite a bit of attention and allowing moms to label what they feel. You can read the comic here!

Kim Kusiciel
Do you carry the "Mental Load" in your household? I know I do and it's not easy. What can we do about it? I am starting by changing the tone and conversation in my house so that my kids don't go into partnerships (of any kind) without devaluing what the other person brings to the table and by sharing in the needs of the relationship and even the home. This applies to roommates in college or post-college all the way up to seasoned marriages. I am starting this conversation at home, right now, so that my son and daughters don't feel compelled by social norms to fall into these same roles. XOXO-Kim
Ann Gemmel
Ok you may be taking a saner approach to this than I have!!! I've just been discouraging jess from ever getting married lol!!! My oldest...he needs a wife.
Kim Kusiciel
Love your spirit Ann and totally get what you are saying. :)
Ann Marie Patitucci
I hadn't seen this. Thanks for sharing, Kim Kusiciel! It really resonates with me. I find that even if you have a partner who participates in household chores and is a true co- parent (like I do), women are still carrying most of the mental load. We have a long way to go!
Ann Gemmel
We have such a long way to go. You can't get away from being full time mom even when you work full time. If my husband wants to out with his friends or on a trip he checks with me and goes. He has a great time, worries about nothing and has fun....and is probabsly depressed to return to my crabby ass. He doesn't have to juggle a million schedules and then have anxiety the whole time as to the children's well being. And I have a pretty good husband too! But he's not a mom.....

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