Your daughter storms into the house shouting, “I hate her!” She plops down on the couch, knocking over a plant spewing dirt everywhere. Your dog runs out of the room and hides under the dining room table. You:

Start yelling back.
Walk out of the house with the dog to escape the chaos.
Say nothing and clean up the mess yourself.
Calmly ask what happened, helping her to express and understand her feelings.

We often think of feelings as good (excited) or bad (anxious). When in reality, feelings are neither good nor bad, but rather data points to give us insight into a situation. Helping your daughter identify her feelings may seem very awkward at first. In time, you will both begin to recognize the value of understanding the meaning behind the feeling.

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