"Is It OK to Travel Without the Kids?" Lose the Guilt. Your Relationship Needs Attention! by Carrie Watts

Vacation Planning
5 years ago

"Is It OK to Travel Without the Kids?" Lose the Guilt. Your Relationship Needs Attention!

Most moms know two things:

  1. Our babies come first.
  2. Guilt follows every decision.

These two truths create challenges, especially in our relationships with our partners. The arrival of tiny, fragile bundles means our focus, by necessity, shifts with intensity to our children.

While only natural, the resulting loss of intimacy can have long-term ramifications. I know from experience: my husband and I went through it after the birth of our first son. Postnatal depression, trouble with breastfeeding, the insecurities of being a first-time mother, all led me to isolate myself. I thought things would eventually return to “normal,” but they didn’t.

When our son was 2 1/2 years old, my husband asked me to go to Tenerife with him. I agreed, but I didn’t want to go – my guilt at leaving my baby was overwhelming. I was sullen and withdrawn the whole way. Until we got there. Once we were alone, in the warmth, with time to talk and eat a meal without interruption, we found each other again.

I am so glad that I made the time to be a couple and do the work of redefining what that meant post-baby. It was a turning point in our relationship. And all that guilt I’d felt? It eased after three days of naps.

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Ann Marie Patitucci
Yes, yes, yes! Thank you for this, Carrie Watts ! Mommy guilt is real but we need to let it go and make time for ourselves & our partners, guilt-free! And travel is the perfect thing because it’s proven to contribute to happiness!
Mawazna Pakistan
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Sheri B Doyle
@carriewatts Thank you for sharing! My husband and I made a pact that the minute we pulled away from the house we were no longer allowed to talk about kids when we had time away. It was important for us to reconnect to each other as people not just as parents. I loved these times, we were able to talk about things we didn't get to when we were wrapped up in kids, like dreams, goals, and personal feelings. It felt like dating all over again.
Carrie Watts
But better, because all the nervousness and insecurities are gone! I know exactly what you mean. My husband and I haven’t had the opportunity for a holiday together in a while, but we have a “date night” every Friday and it’s nice to know we have that time carved out to be adults. :-)

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