Supporting Friends of Color: How to Be a White Ally Without Burdening Your Black Friends by Samantha Harris

Opinion
3 months ago
Supporting Friends of Color: How to Be a White Ally Without Burdening Your Black Friends

If you want to be an ally, start by not adding to the mental load of your friends of color. It is not their job or their responsibility to write out a guide for you to be a good white ally. Your friends have enough going on in their heads right now without having to hold your hand through this. 

Let them feel exactly what they want to feel. Let them breathe and exist in their own minds, bodies and spaces without having to coddle you like a child. They are not the heralds to your journey to become a great and powerful hero.

  • Do some research.
  • Support local non-profits fighting against injustice. 

Google is likely able to provide you with more guidance and information than your stressed and depressed friends can right now.

If you really want to help you are going to have to make your life uncomfortable. Don't hold your tongue when your Aunty is being racist. Let Grandpa know how you really feel about that MAGA hat. Change doesn't happen from like-minded individuals just clumping together saying, "WE agree! THOSE GUYS are the ones who suck!"

You need to get your hands dirty. Use that same privilege that permits you to spit on the police and take over government buildings to demand they change their ways or step down immediately. Think about all the things you would want to do to fight back if you were the one oppressed. Ask yourself how many of those things would you be killed for instantly if you were black. Then do that.

Most importantly, look deep inside yourself and ask, "Is there any part of ME that doesn't want equality? Is there any part of ME that is afraid of change?" And if you find that there is, then that's where you really need to begin.

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Elisa A. Schmitz 30Seconds
"If you really want to help you are going to have to make your life uncomfortable." So powerful, Samantha Harris . Thank you for sharing this truth. We are listening, and we so appreciate all you share with us.
Ann Marie Gardinier Halstead
Thank you for this, @followthestray. White friends: I suggest looking up these titles if you'd like to learn more:

How to Make This Moment the Turning Point for Real Change

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Tribe
Thank you for this, it's helpful.
Gwen Johnson
I've never thought about it this way. Ah-ha moment, Samantha Harris .

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