Forgotten Homework, Lunch, Gym Clothes: Why I Struggle to Do the Right Thing With My Kids by Dawn Taylor
I just dropped off my kids at school. No sooner had I gotten back home to my already cold coffee when my phone rang. My ninth-grader had forgotten her homework folder. After cursing, I grabbed the damned folder and drove back to the school muttering profanities the whole time, promising myself that this was the last time, knowing full well it wouldn't be.
I struggle with this one a lot. On the one hand they need to learn to be responsible, and they are for the most part. Both my ninth- and 10th-grader juggle honors classes (and are at the top of their classes), they participate in school clubs from Reality Check to Student Government, school plays, working in the neighbors' gardens to earn money.
They smash their lives and I know they will be successful, caring humans. It is understandable that they mess up on occasion. Right???
Inevitably they forget something. Not every day, and sometimes weeks go by, but when they do, I try to get it to them despite my being annoyed, angry, frustrated. Because my hours are flexible, I figure it is not a big deal, as these girls work their butts off.
I realize some parents can't leave work or have such tight schedules, and mine allows me to "save" them on occasion. But should I? I mean, they are human and they make mistakes. I forget stuff at home, too! See, I really do struggle with this one!
Fellow parents, what do you do when this happens??
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Real consequences. If you have to go back, charge them drive time. Or, pay you back with extra chores. They will not like paying you. It’s an exchange of services provided.
What I have to do with my son, ADHD , is make a list based on his schedule. It’s a very microscopic list.
Backpack
*homework
* math
* government
* English
*ipad
Classroom :
What needs to be done here.
The idea is for him to have a list that works for him specifically. The goal to take things off the list as it becomes engrained in his routine.
I made the list with his input. We adjust every week as needed. He puts the list by his backpack at night.
Of course only as good as it’s used. I did some reminders for that part and now it’s taking root.
I think they have so much on their plates that they are adulting too soon.
Yes, they need to be responsible but knowing your child and guiding it verses enabling is where you have to find the balance.