Relationship Issues: My Husband Won't Date Me or Do Any Romantic Gestures (What Do You Think?) by Marina Smith

Relationships Opinion
a year ago
Relationship Issues: My Husband Won't Date Me or Do Any Romantic Gestures (What Do You Think?)

Rejection hurts. We have all been rejected at different stages in our lives, but the worst kind of rejection, I think, is when those closest to us who we love and who love us in return turn you down. It leaves an open and unhealing wound that was brought on for no reason.

My husband and I have been married over two years, and he won't make an effort to take me on a date. I don't get flowers "just because" or any sweet little gestures to show me I am being thought of. On Valentine’s Day, I get ignored (it was our first official date four-plus years ago).

When confronted, he claims he wants to date me, he is just thinking of what to do. In the past I would come up with ideas and tell him we are going on a date – a whole three times a year (our lives are insanely busy and I was grateful for what time we could get). Now I have asked him to be proactive and a bit more involved, so we haven't been on a date since July.

I have addressed our lack of time spent together four more times since then and each time there was some sort of explanation. I am ready to give up. Some people just don't go on dates? We both are busy and tired. After all, I should just be grateful he is involved with the kids and works around the house. Right?

What do you think?

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How about you ask him out?
Marina Smith
Been there done that, actually this is what I do all the time and come up with what we are doing for the date.
Elisa Schmitz, 30Seconds
So sorry to hear this, Marina Smith . Have you tried letting him know how this makes you feel? A deeper step would be couples counseling, perhaps. I think working on the relationship is always important. Sending good thoughts your way.
Donna John
Have you thought about planning it and telling him when he needs to be ready? Maybe after a couple times of you doing it, he'll return the favor and plan something. Men sometimes just need a nudge. Marina Smith
Marina Smith
Donna, when I plan he goes and that's what I have been doing, but I asked him to participate too and I am really not picky and certainly do not have certain expectations, whatever it may be, as long as it is kid free and work free for a couple of hours and outside our home, I am game. We are otherwise very solid family but this has just finally upset me enough to the point where I wanted to hear from others their take on it, since most of my friends do not understand why I am upset, because he is deeply involved with kids and our family, always putting us first. I just also want to know that there is still "us" as in him and I.
Mike Prochaska
do You find the babysitter? I plan only when I know can have free babysitter
Marina Smith
We hardly ever have a free sitter but we do have a sitter who we pay if we are doing an event or we are working on our business together I can arrange things with a sitter or he can and then plans can be made.
Mike Prochaska
Not even grandparents or those drop in parent nights outs? We use those drop in parents nights out like where the kids get to go play somewhere fun without us. They love it and we get few hour do stuff together. Hired bAbysitter once but went broke between payinh babysitter fair rate and actually going out so don’t do that anymore. Lol so just saying that why I don’t plan anything unless I find free Babysitter or some kind of deal
Disciple making movement
Very nice and informative article. LOVED the simple yet through writing. I too have just started a blog, and am awaiting nice comments.

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