Answering Tough Questions As a Single Mother: What Would You Say? by Jessica Lawrence

Single Moms Parenting
5 years ago

Answering Tough Questions As a Single Mother: What Would You Say?

Recently, my daughter asked me some questions that took me by surprise.

"Why did I live with you and not daddy?"

OK ... deep breath. How do I reply to this? It's fitting that four years ago, I moved out of our (sold) marital home and into a house next door with our daughter. So the timing is spot on. For the past four years, I've constantly reminded her the importance of everyone loving her: mommy, daddy, grandma, gramps, gran, grandpa, etc. I remind her that if daddy and his fiance had not met, she wouldn't have her half-sister.

What I don't tell her is that her daddy chose to focus on work, where he knew he would be successful. He worked 45 minutes away from our house and worked long hours, instead of trying to work on his marriage. He couldn't leave early for trips to his mother-in-law's house, but could leave early for basketball games. His work schedule was flexible when it came to things he liked, but not when it came to me.

I told her that she has lived with me because I always took her to school, appointments and skating because her daddy had to work. Did I lie? 

What would you say?

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Sounds like you did the best you could!
Elisa Schmitz
I have been there, done that. It is so so hard when they start asking these types of questions. And to be honest, it only gets harder as they get older, and really want to dig deep into the "whys" of the divorce. All I can say is to trust your gut on this one, Jessica Lawrence . Do your best to stay positive. Sending you lots of positive energy. Remember, you are not alone. So much of what you write about, many of us have experienced (or will experience). Sharing your stories helps us all understand that we are stronger together, thank you.

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