Have a Broken Heart? 3 Ways to Be Happy During Valentine’s Day by Dannie De Novo
So, here it comes! That day dreaded by many – Valentine’s Day. For some, V Day is a day riddled with extra errands like stopping to buy flowers and cards or having to make a reservation to eat at a not-so-great restaurant in the middle of the week, when three days later there won’t be anyone there. But I don’t think anyone looks forward to heart day less than the broken-hearted. So, for all of you tender hearts out there, I have put together three tips to help you be happy despite cupid’s poor aim:
1. Be Grateful for Love: If you want love, be a magnet for it. Right now, you may be feeling like love has been lost or is just avoiding you all together and that the last thing you want to do is create positive feelings around love. But, if love is truly what you are after, then I tell you there is no better way to attract it into your life than by showing love a little gratitude.
When you really look at love, it is hard not to be grateful for it on some level. The beauty of this is that you don’t even need to show any specific person or past relationship gratitude if you aren’t quite ready to go there. You can just sit and feel gratitude for love – in any form.
I always stop and allow myself a moment of gratitude when I see a young child hugging her mom or siblings tightly. I love to show love a little gratitude when a puppy nudges my hand with his wet nose or when my horse Huck puts his head down in my hands asking for a forehead scratch.
Give yourself the gift of feeling gratitude every time a friend does something unexpected for you, when a stranger lets you cut in line or when you are given a gift of any kind.
And, most definitely, let yourself feel a little gratitude when that cute guy or girl flashes you a smile, when you see two people walking together holding hands and when you drive past a car with “just married” written on the rear window.
When you have a sense of gratitude toward love, more love will come into your life – in all forms and from new and expected places.
2. Loving Yourself Is Truly the Best Kind of Love: You don’t need that special other someone to have real love in your life. You are special and deserve your love more than anyone else in the world. But, when a romantic partner is absent from our lives, we tend to feel as though something is missing – that we aren’t quite whole. And, nothing could be further from the truth. You need nothing if you have the love of and from yourself.
When you really embrace this concept and start to act in conformity with it, you will soon realize that a romantic relationship serves to make an amazing life just that much better. But it isn’t a substitute for an amazing life. Love from another person is never a substitute for your own love.
If you are alone this Valentine’s Day and hurting, I ask that you turn your focus toward yourself. Give yourself some self-love and self-care. Really dial in on what loving yourself means and looks like for you.
What you need to realize is that you are always loved, you are always in a relationship with yourself. Take care of that relationship first and foremost and other loves are sure to follow.
3. You Can Love Again and Still Protect Your Heart at the Same Time: Yes, you really can. Have you ever started dating someone who has been hurt badly? They want to enjoy your company and most likely really want love in the long run, but because of their pain, they put up a wall and keep you at arms’ length in an effort to protect themselves.
I think one of the most valuable lessons I have learned post-divorce is that you can open your heart to others, you can even be vulnerable with the right person, and still protect your heart at the very same time.
You can be accepting of love and still allow yourself the space to get to know someone on your time line, in an atmosphere that feels right to you. You can be kind and generous and compassionate to another human being while also taking really good care of yourself. You can enjoy the company of another and not lose yourself in the process. You can be mindful that your past hurt is in the past, leave it there, and be open to what love has to offer you going forward.
It really comes down to a choice. How do you want to be with love? I want to be as loving as possible, and so, I look at any relationship from the perspective of this: giving my love does not mean I will ever be cheated of love. Yes, things may happen, relationships may come and go, but love will always be here.
This Valentine’s Day, choose love – however you want to define it. Be open to the good that love always brings. Be grateful for all the love you have had and all the love yet to come. I am wishing you and sending you much love!
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