My Teenager Has One Gear (SLOW!): How Can I Get My Teen Motivated to Get Himself Up in the Morning? by Belinda Lichty Clarke

6 months ago
My Teenager Has One Gear (SLOW!): How Can I Get My Teen Motivated to Get Himself Up in the Morning?

My kid can't get up and go in the morning – and nothing I do seems to work. First, I'm gentle about it, as in, "Hey, it's time to wake up." Five attempts later, I'm just plain frustrated, and then I just get mad.

I know I'm not alone, and that most 15-year-old boys have trouble waking up. I know they need more sleep, too. But what bothers me the most isn't that he keeps falling back to sleep, but that he doesn't seem to care that it inconveniences me. He has no problem making me wait for as long as it takes for him to get it together.

I blame myself for my second son's slow-rolling mentality, because truth is, I probably did "baby" him too much. I picked up after him, etc., and maybe now I'm paying the price.

I've tried taking the XBOX remotes hostage, but he doesn't seem to care. I've threatened to leave without him, but then, of course, I never do.

So, I'm appealing to the amazing 30Seconds community of momsdads and experts for help answering this question: How can I get my kid to motivate and get himself moving in the morning?!!

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Elisa All Schmitz 30Seconds
Oh, Belinda Lichty Clarke , I feel your pain. For me, it wasn't a boy thing, because my son was self-motivated and got himself up and where he needed to be on time, every time. But, I do have a daughter who is like this, and it is beyond frustrating. What I've learned from experience and the "experts" is that "natural consequences" are often the best way to go. A parent nagging isn't the best remedy. It's often a third party (guidance counselor?) or a negative consequence that will happen (detention for being late to school?) that will finally teach that lesson they need to learn. Even my kids' grade school principal told us that if our kids forgot their lunch or their homework, leave it at home. Do not bring it to school for them. They need to get the F or miss a meal so that they don't forget it the next day. So while I know it goes against our instincts to let him get up on his own and get to school, etc., maybe that is worth trying. Good luck and keep us posted! You are not alone! xoxo
Heather Holter
I got nothing! NONE of my kids can do a thing independently in the morning. I spend 45 mins ping ponging between 3 rooms to get kids moving. So yeah no I am the wrong lady to ask! Lol Good luck! 💗
Belinda Lichty Clarke
that actually makes me feel a little better!
Margaret Steck
Elisa All Schmitz 30Seconds everything you said is just spot-on, sage advice. Kids can so easily tune out their parents -- so it's a matter of dealing with natural consequences on their own. It's how they grow! Sometimes, I get a little nervous with my 16 year-old because I'll find out something (perfect example -- a parking ticket) and he'll say, "Oh, I didn't want to tell you because I was going to deal with it by paying for it!" While it's great he's learning about cause and effect, I hope he'll come to me if ever he gets in a real pinch! Anyway, as awkward as it may feel, try and let go and let him navigate consequences!
Nicole DeAvilla
Yep. Let him take responsibility. It's not always easy as moms to let the natural consequences happen. However, it's the best gift you can give - independence.

It is hard for teens to get enough sleep these days. And we ask them to wake-up at times that don't sync with their natural biorhythms. Do make sure that he is his normal teenage happy self during the rest of the day. Sometimes chronic sleeping in can be a sign of issues at school or mood disturbances. I think from what you described, it's just an issue of learning to be responsible himself, but want other parents to know if they read this to be aware of the other possibilities.
Belinda Lichty Clarke
thank you ladies! my short term solution was basically to pass the buck to my husband. In other words, I tapped out. So, today and tomorrow (when i'm traveling for work) Greg is on deck. Maybe next week my son and I will have a chat because the downside is that if he goes with me then he arrives early, and I'm not sure the guys will have the same urgency. Bottom line is I was honest and I told my son I was basically over it!
Meredith Schneider
Belinda Lichty Clarke, nice to see I'm not alone on this one! You have described my 16 yr old son. I basically told him this morning that by not getting up when he is supposed to he is showing disrespect to me and my time. This morning I even tried getting him up earlier so by the time he would drag his a$$ out of bed it would be the time he should be getting up anyway. Very frustrating! He used to wake-up so much better with a good night sleep. I need to crack down on when he is going to bed. Starting tomorrow, I told him this morning he needs to set his alarm and get himself up. When he starts college in 2 yrs I'm not going to be there, he needs to learn to be more accountable for himself.

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