Forget the Fork: Parents, Try to Survive the Mealtime Melee With Some Humor by Tracy Neubauer-Cunningham

Humor Parenting
2 years ago

Forget the Fork: Parents, Try to Survive the Mealtime Melee With Some Humor

Social media posts may show kids snacking on zucchini and avocado, but my kids rarely eat regularly, much less something cultivated! Post-second kid realization: comparisons to other parents is pointless. I have adopted a “save my sanity” adage.

  • Make up your own reality. Dinner: potato hearts, tomato aioli and breaded fowl (aka french fries with ketchup and chicken nuggets).
  • Never go to a restaurant! Dining out requires anxiously awaiting management to ask you to leave and paying for a meal that no one will eat while coaxing kids out from under the table or discouraging playing with the hair of the lady sitting behind you.
  • STAY HOME! This is where I say f#ck the fork! Eat spaghetti with your hands, take off your clothes and sit naked at the table; we’ll hose you down later.
  • Food they liked yesterday they don’t like today! Re-examining why Gram’s fish sticks are better? Pointless! Same box, same store. But mine taste like roadkill scraped off a desert highway.
  • Don’t self-loathe if sole craving is fruit snacks! Throw them a bag of “shut the hell ups.”

Parents: celebrate keeping the kids alive one more day. Snap 10 to 800 pics of them smiling for proof of survival!

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Ann Marie Patitucci
This is hilarious, Tracy Neubauer-Cunningham ! And I know so many parents will recognize their lives in your words. Thanks for sharing your very real parenting perspective with us. And welcome to our community of writers!
Donna John
Lol!! Funniest thing I've read in a while. Welcome, Tracy Neubauer-Cunningham !!
Elisa Schmitz
Bahaha! This cracks me up! So many of us can relate, Tracy Neubauer-Cunningham . So glad you are part of our tribe. Can't wait for more from you! :-)
Tracy Neubauer-Cunningham
All I know is funny... otherwise I go insane like many moms!!!
Ann Marie Patitucci
Kim Wadsworth : You have to read this. Reminds me of your first 30Seconds piece!
Gina Pomering
I thought , no this can’t be another parent thinking kids will eat gourmet? Potato hearts ?? 😂 tomato aioli... ketchup! 🤪
Love it!
Tracy Neubauer-Cunningham
I get pretty creative in attemps to keep my sanity. I have no idea how some people get their kids to eat egg salad sandwiches and avacado slices. I mean these magical parents really look like they have it all together so I just do some creative thinking

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