No, You Don’t Get a Trophy for Showing Up: How We're Creating a Generation of Entitled Kids by Abbey North
A sticker on each correct worksheet; a certificate for participation; a free theme park ticket for reading; the more wrapping paper you sell for the PTA, the more prizes you get; if you read you get a pizza... Play on a rec sports team? We all get a trophy. It's your birthday? Come pick a prize. You attended a party? You get a goodie bag.
Your team didn't win? You don't get a trophy.
While I believe motivational tools and incentives have a time and a place, we have a generation of kids who feel entitled to whatever they want whenever they want it. Sure, not all kids. But too many kids feel they deserve a trophy for showing up. In life you will not get a trophy, certificate, prize or ribbon for doing what you are supposed to do anyway. How do we overcome this?
- Talk with your child about doing what they do because it's fun, not because they will get something.
- Explain to kids, you win some, you lose some. It's important to work hard in order to be successful.
- Talk about what it means to be a good sport. Turn this into a lesson on being happy for others, your turn will come.
And no, you do not get a trophy just because you showed up.
If I wasn’t already sold on 30Seconds, I am now. This is the first time on an open forum someone has published this. Just too bad it’s not 15 yrs back. I’m faced with this all the time where my kids think they should be rewarded for what’s normally expected of them. Be nice to each other, put your clean clothes away instead of putting them bk in the hamper, strive for good grades, showing up for your tennis lesson and all the things you mentioned and then some more. This mindset is so established though it’s hard to get your kid to see that’s not how it works. Then there are the kids I feel the sorriest for who’s parents idolize them then will go out into the world to find out others couldn’t care less what their parents think of them. Thank you again for this.