Hugh Hefner Will Always Haunt Me: Stop Judging Others Based on Societal Stigmas by Brittany Moffatt

Opinion Relationships
a year ago
Hugh Hefner Will Always Haunt Me: Stop Judging Others Based on Societal Stigmas

Since Hugh Hefner’s death a month ago, I’ve decided it’s time to shame judgmental people. I’m married to a man 35-plus years my senior. I've had more comments, questions and bizarre inquiries into my life than I'll ever write down or give validation to. I will say, the strangest was, “Does he have all his teeth?”

I honestly hate the portrayal of a young woman seeking an older man's money, but I know that's what people think when they see us. I've never seen my husband that way.

I sometimes have to remind myself that I don't "have food on my face" and people are staring because it looks like I'm making out with my dad. I can completely say I've never even thought of him as being older than me. Anyone who knows him knows his charisma and energy. He's more of a 30-year-old than I am. To be real, I hate what Hugh Hefner did. He took advantage and exploited women for his own gain and to promote his magazine.

My husband and I built a relationship on mutual respect, love and hard work. Was it hard? HELL YES!! Is it worth it? HELL YES!! But every relationship is. Ours is just complicated by society's misconceptions, not by the love we feel for each other. So please, RIP Hugh, but I won't miss you. I'm focused on changing the stereotype. Please stop judging others based on societal stigmas. 

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Elisa All Schmitz 30Seconds
I am so glad you shared this, Brittany Moffatt ! I believe that love is love, no matter where and with whom you find it. Why others want to criticize people's relationships is beyond me. I am so happy for you that you found love with your wonderful husband, and congratulations on your beautiful family. Don't let anyone bring you down! #LoveWins
Mike Prochaska
How long have you been married? And congrats on finding you solemate
Stacey Roberts
Sounds like you get A LOT of feedback. Does it come from one particular demographic or a broad rage? My husband is 12 yrs older than myself, which mostly goes unnoticed, but I did get asked once if we had the grandkids for a visit. And that was 11 yrs ago when i could’ve passed for 35. But don’t think for a minute I wouldn’t have let society’s unwritten rules of what’s normal to keep me from passing up the chance to marry a cute black guy had he crossed my path. Which even today an interracial couple still fetches a double take. I’ve watched it happen over and over while in a large public place.
So my question for you is, do you think there is a driving force behind these unwritten societal rules that make other ask such absurd questions and if so what is it?
Brittany Moffatt
Hi Stacey, sorry for the delay in my response. I think people create social norms because it makes life easier. If a black person is a thug or a younger woman married to an older man is a gold digger you just stick them in that “box” and don’t have to give it anymore thought. Being present, listening and understanding takes energy and is hard because life isn’t so black and white. In my experience the crazy questions come because they’ve labeled me “other” or “separate” from themselves therefore they don’t have to be respectful.

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