#30Seconds In-Depth: Reduce the Chaos, Stress & Discontent in Your Life With Marianne Clyde! by Nicole DeAvilla
Who doesn’t have some stress in their life? At this week's #30Seconds Twitter chat, we welcomed 30Seconds contributor, Marianne Clyde, a licensed therapist, relationship expert, author, speaker, empowerment coach and author of "Zentivity," to share tips on how to get a handle on chaos, stress and discontent – even when you feel too busy or don’t know where to start. And with the holiday season fast approaching, these tips were just in time!
Q: So, is it really possible to eliminate chaos, stress and discontent?
Absolutely, but you must remember that the answer is inside of you. Stressful events will continue to happen. It’s just part of life. So it’s important to realize that it’s completely dependent on our thoughts about the stressful event. We must learn to develop a strong internal locus of control.
That's so true! I think part of it is your attitude #30seconds
— 🐯⚾️🐠Toni B 🎨 🎬 (@rychepet) November 2, 2017
Q: How do we develop that strong internal locus of control?
We need to remember that what we focus on increases. So if we focus on denial, negativity, anger or external stressors, that will loom large in our minds. We need to focus on where we want to go and how we want to be by asking powerful questions like, "What can I do now?" If we focus on solutions instead of fear and panic we continue to move forward.
A2: The more I take on and the more I think I have to do all that once I completely lose focus on everything #30seconds
— Stephanie Kennedy (@SocialSteph2) November 2, 2017
Q: Your book “Zentivity” focuses on 10 principles. How do they help?
The very first thing we must do is principle 1 of Zentivity. Connect with the creator through meditation. That connection keeps us grounded, develops strong roots and strengthens our personal identity. Knowing our true identity is vital to keep from getting thrown off balance. This is principle 2 of Zentivity. Your true nature comes from “all that is” love, joy, peace, wisdom, creativity and abundance. Operating from that place is when you are your most powerful.
Yes! love to have a nice bubble bath #30seconds
— 🐯⚾️🐠Toni B 🎨 🎬 (@rychepet) November 2, 2017
Q: How is it possible to establish a meditation practice when we are so busy?
Do what you can. Breathe in and out deeply for five to 10 minutes each morning. Work your way up in time. Sit outside in nature for a few minutes. Good mantra is, “I am whole perfect and complete.” If you only have two minutes in the shower, or at a stoplight, use that. The key is consistency. Same place same focus, every day. It changes your brain.
I tell people to do that at the office too...or take a walk outside...just to clear your head. #30seconds
— Marianne Clyde, LMFT (@marianneclyde) November 2, 2017
Q: What are some other ways to control our reactions to stress and chaos?
These principles build on each other. Meditation and awareness of self and others are foundational. My favorite is principle 4 of Zentivity – just breathe. It helps you think more clearly. Deep breathing enables you to respond instead of react. It gives you a second to collect your thoughts. Detach from the drama is principle 8. Breathe and detach. Don’t get sucked in.
I LOVE that you are taking care of your self and doing the breathing! Star Student! #30Seconds
— Nicole DeAvilla (@NicoleDeAvilla) November 2, 2017
Q: It sounds easier than it is. How can we respond calmly when we get triggered?
Getting triggered is a normal human reaction. You must learn to notice when that happens. All emotions are normal and can be healthy, but we must learn to control them. Notice. Feel. Then choose a new thought. Don’t stuff or ignore feelings. Our power comes in recognizing that we can choose our thoughts. When we choose a healthier more stable thought, our emotions change and calm down.
A6 : Taking off the cloak of "I must be absolutely perfect & what everyone else expects" helps me. #30Seconds
— Raquel Masco (@mommade4change) November 2, 2017
Q: What are some of the other principles of Zentivity?
Practicing gratitude. Principle 6 of Zentivity also changes your brain. Calms the stress center. Respect, communicate clearly, non-judgment are all principles of the Zentivity lifestyle. Forgive quickly is principle 10 of Zentivity. Letting resentments go is good for your health. Stress hormones constantly released in the body can make you sick physically and mentally.
— Chefgigi (@chefgigi) November 2, 2017
Q: It sounds like there is a lot to remember. How do we learn more?
You’re right. The principles of Zentivity are simple but they must become a lifestyle to work. Zentivity.guru is a membership site that enables leaders to get support for healthy thinking. (Sign up for a free gift!) We need to remember that we are all leaders. It’s important to support one another.
— Louise Masin Sattler (@LouiseASL) November 1, 2017
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