blog » August 22, 2017 by Nicole DeAvilla

How to Reduce Bullying With Dr. Beth Halbert, America’s Teenologist! by Nicole DeAvilla

6 years ago
How to Reduce Bullying With Dr. Beth Halbert, America’s Teenologist!

What do you tell your child when they are being bullied? We were thrilled to have Dr. Beth Halbert, aka Dr. Beth, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in "teenage" behavior in children, teens and adults as our #30Seconds Twitter chat guest! Dr. Beth is the author of “Embracing Defiance: Helping Your Child Find Their UNIQUE VOICE While Keeping YOUR SANITY,” which helps parents to understand the benefits of healthy defiance. Dr. Beth shared her expert advice on handling bullying. Read on for her tips...

Q: What do you do if your child is bullied?

Most importantly listen to your child. How do they feel? What are they making it mean? Ask your child why they think the other child might be bullying you? Get curious!!! How can your child turn around what was said? How to not take it personally? What might the bully be saying about him or herself? Give them tools and tips to protect themselves. Create a “911” code if they need your help.

Q: What do you do if your child is being accused of being the bully?

Ask your child: How can you turn this around? Ask what help they need from you the parent, administrators. So often the “bully” thinks they are being “bullied” – seek to understand the whole story. Where are they hurting? What do they need from you to feel loved and supported to be exactly as they are? They are telling on themselves. They are in pain!!! Get really curious and totally supportive – listen HARD!!

Q: What can I do to prevent my child form becoming a bully?

  • Teach your child: First of all, I determine if I’m bullied. Only I can say I’m a victim. I don’t have to believe the meanness. 
  • Ask myself as a parent: Is my child feeling heard, understood, supported for who they choose to be. Is it safe to be me? 

They are feeling hurt and scared if they are victimizing other children. Choose relationship over tasks or being right!! Make it safe to talk about anything – not judged, critiqued or one-upped. Find out what’s going on that would cause them to hurt others. They may be feeling afraid of being exactly who they are or they do not like themselves.

Q: How do I prepare my child to deal with online bullying?

One thing is to make sure they understand how they can set themselves up to be attacked online (i.e. naked photos).Only share vulnerability you are willing to be teased about and can handle being shared and talked about with others.

  • Ask them if they know what happens if they delete something? Could it still be found? Answer is YES.
  • Ask them who owns their photos and words once they have been posted on another’s electronic platform?
  • Ask: If someone says something horrible about me the parent, does it make it true? What are my choices in how I can respond? Practice word tracks on how to respond if…

Q: What do I do if bullying is already happening online?

  • Lots of options. One is to totally disengage from the platform all together. The crowd will move on.
  • Take it off-line in an actual conversation face to face with family members.
  • Bring in the authorities to help with and find out the legal options.
  • Get emotional support to better understand the situation and different ways to respond internally.

Q: What can you and your child do to prevent bullying?

  • Focus on the positive with everyone else. Catch other’s doing things you like and love.
  • When you are feeling bullied, ask the other person if they feel bullied by you or hurt by you?
  • Join the singing “Everybody Loves Me” campaign.
  • Start the conversation online, at home, in schools. What a great question for all of us to keep asking.
  • What’s the opposite of bullying to you? Do that!!! For me it is choose love no matter what.

Q: How can we learn more about you and your work?

Tons of free stuff and my actual Mom’s Choice award-winning book free at DrBeth.comConnect with me on Facebook, email me and follow @DrBethCP!

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Nicole DeAvilla
Dr. Beth is entertaining, fun and results driven! She tells it like it is. You will love this chat.
Ann Marie Patitucci
Wonderful! I'm all for reducing bullying! We are very lucky to have Dr. Beth joining us on Wed.! #endbullying #kindnessmatters
Alexis Yoakum
yay this is exciting I cant wait! <3
Meredith Schneider
So excited for this chat! Perfect timing. My 4 kids go back to school on the 28th. See everyone later! ;) xoxo

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