Anger Management in Kids: How to Diffuse Your Kid's Anger in 30 Seconds (It Works)! by Cynthia Miller

5 years ago

Have you heard about "reflecting" with a child in order to diffuse his or her anger? I finally started employing it correctly the other day and ... WOW WOW WOW!! It's just amazing to watch your child simmer right down! It really works! The idea is that you state back to your child what she is FEELING. You focus on her EMOTIONS, not her WORDS. 

Your reflecting sentences go like this: "You feel [insert emotion] because [insert reason].” Keep repeating. NO sentences that have "I" in them – this is simply about showing the child that she is "heard." You will be floored at how well this works. Let me emphasize that you need to definitely follow the rules. Getting off course will escalate things, and this is a technique for diffusing!

Watch this video by Douglas E. Noll, a lawyer turned peacemaker. It's only a few minutes and you'll be a pro after seeing it. Invest the time to watch and save yourself hours in escalated arguments – and make everyone in your household happier. I'm SO HAPPY to have this tool! Let me know if it works for you, too!

This video is longer than 30 seconds, but we think it's worth it.

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Donna John
Great technique, Cynthia Miller! I'm sure many members of the tribe will benefit from watching this video. Thanks so much for sharing! Going to look more into Douglas E. Noll as well. Bet he has a lot more knowledge for us!

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