Comparing Our Kids: Why I Make a Conscious Choice Not To by Holly Budde
My girls are bipolar opposites. It’s amazing they are both mine. Their interests, the way they learn, communicate, express themselves and react could not be any farther apart. Very early on as my little one was just toddling around I noticed how they played with such different things and how they reacted to me so differently. And I loved it! They were each their own. I made a conscious decision almost nine years ago to never compare them. Never make one think I was closer to or understood one more than the other. I have loved their differences – and embraced them.
I have one I call "all sports no frills" and one I call "all frills no sweat." One is particular. One is flamboyant. I have encouraged them to be themselves. I have made sacrifices to make sure each participates in their activity of interest. I have set a rule: "It was your turn, now it is her turn." This helps to keep from overscheduling, but it also makes each one support the other by watching. They are extremely close. Even at six years apart.
I consciously encourage them both. I don’t allow one to criticize the other, nor do I let them hear me. When asked (and both do as a joke) who's my favorite, I say: "I got lucky. I have two favorites"