blog » June 13, 2017 by Nicole DeAvilla

In Praise of Dads for Father's Day With Dr. Christina Hibbert! by Nicole DeAvilla

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4 months ago
In Praise of Dads for Father's Day With Dr. Christina Hibbert!

There are more reasons than you might imagine to celebrate Father’s Day with the dads in your life. We were thrilled to have our very own 30Seconds contributor, Dr. Christina Hibbert, clinical psychologist and bestselling author of "This is How We Grow," share researched-based ways that dads impact kids for the better. Read on for her dad-inspired tips!

Q: Why is it so important for moms to recognize how much dads impact kids for the better?

Moms are the gatekeepers to dads’ interactions with children. Moms can facilitate or block dad’s relationships with kids. Moms need to be aware of all fathers bring to their children’s lives and step aside sometimes and let them do it their way. Dads have a different way of doing things with kids and it’s not a bad thing. It’s good for children to see a different way. Moms: Let dad play with and teach and love kids – even if it’s not how you would do it. It’s good for kids, and for you, too! Dads give kids wings. Moms give kids roots. Together, kids have the opportunity to soar forth and stay grounded in life!

Q: We all know kids need their dads. But what does the research say about kids who don’t have involved fathers?

  • Research shows that kids without fathers are five times more likely to be poor and twice as likely to drop out of school and/or be incarcerated. 
  • Research shows that kids without dads are at increased risk for sexual abuse and three times more likely to use drugs and have emotional/behavior problems. 
  • Plus, the emotional impact of knowing your dad didn’t want to be involved in your life. The cost of having no dad can be high for all.

Q: Wow! Well, let’s praise fathers, then. What does the research say about the benefits for kids of having a loving father?

  • A loving father is the best predictor of the level of compassion a child will develop. Even though moms are usually the ones who teach compassion, when kids see dads show compassion, it has a great impact. #
  • Having a stable father is linked with greater confidence in children. Dads encourage exploring the world, branching out, trying new things. This builds confidence in kids in ways moms can’t.
  • Kids with caring fathers tend to be more emotionally secure and stable. You’d think moms would make kids most emotionally secure, but research shows a dad’s love is what really does the trick.
  • Having a loving father is even associated with greater relationship success for children as they grow into adulthood! For more research-based ways dads impact kids for the better, click here.

Q: What can dads do to help their children reap all these incredible benefits?

  • Be involved. Not only physically but emotionally, spiritually, socially. Talk to your kids. Show them you’re there and you care.
  • Love your child’s mom. One of the most important influences dads have on kids is the quality of the relationship with mom. This includes couples who are divorced or separated. If dad and mom can get along and even love each other, kids will flourish.
  • Remember how much you are needed and the incredible good you can do for your kids!
  • Never forget the power of fathers, and live up to that potential each day with your children and family.

Q: What can moms do to help dads and/or show how much we, and our kids, love and appreciate them this Father’s Day?

Remember that we moms are the gatekeepers. Kids need healthy interaction with their dads, and we must help facilitate that. We moms can do better at praising dads. Tell them how much we, and our kids, need them. Show them how wonderful they are. Show dad  the research on how dads impact kids for the better.  And encourage him in his father role. Provide opportunities for dad to be a leader at home. Encourage him to spend quality time with kids. Let him do things his way. Most important, help kids see the greatness in dad! Commit to building him up as a father and the whole family will benefit!

Q: Any final words of wisdom?

Meredith Schneider
Super excited for tonight! I better hurry and feed the kids LOL!
Nicole DeAvilla
Wish I could be there! This is going to be a great chat!

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