Want a Happy Marriage? Raise Your Good Cholesterol! Let Me Explain... by Holly Brown MFT

Relationships
6 years ago

Want a Happy Marriage? Raise Your Good Cholesterol! Let Me Explain...

OK, so it's not literally about raising your good cholesterol. It's metaphorical cholesterol. I've got this theory, but let's start with John Gottman, noted marital researcher. He's described the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" when it comes to couples: 

  • criticism
  • contempt
  • defensiveness 
  • stonewalling

He's found that what's most likely to cause divorce is contempt. That's labeling your partner with a character defect that makes him or her inferior. Essentially, you're dehumanizing them. And once they're not human, why should you connect to their emotional pain? Sooner or later, one or both of you will be done. 

As I see it, the antidote is generosity of spirit. Believe the best about your partner. When you don't know his or her intent for sure, make positive assumptions. That's the good cholesterol of the relationship. Raise it.

Elisa Schmitz
This is so insightful! Thank you, hollybrownMFT !!
bepositive
This is so great! ❤️
lina356
Having my broken relationship back has brought great joy in my life, this is one thing that I have always wished for in my Life and I got it so easily through The help of PRIEST ADU . website i read about () or reach him through ( solution.temple@mail )

join discussion

Please login to comment.

recommended tips

Bye, Felicia: 4 Things You Need to Give Up This New Year to Live a Better Life

Traditional Sweet Italian Easter Bread Recipe With Colored Eggs

Sweet Bunny Bread Recipe: A Fun Easter Craft That You Can Eat

“Become the Fire” Book Signing at The Book Stall: Building Community Has Never Been So Much Fun