Note to Parents - It's Not All About the Kids: How to Find a Middle Ground With Self-ness! by Holly Brown MFT

7 years ago

Note to Parents - It's Not All About the Kids: How to Find a Middle Ground With Self-ness!

New parents hear it all the time: "It's not about you anymore; it's about the kids." Selflessness is in. Selfishness is out. Got it. What's always struck me is that there's no word in the English language for maintaining a healthy self. I'd propose one: self-ness. After all, if one end of the continuum is selfishness and the other is selflessness, shouldn't there be some middle ground? Perhaps self-ness is that middle ground. 

Balance is key in mental health. That doesn't change just because you've given birth. We encourage our kids to find and then be their authentic selves, and one of the best ways to do that is by modeling it. That means having a self of your own. Remember what you love besides your kids and nurture it.

Elisa Schmitz
OMG, this is such an important topic that we talked about this a lot this week - first with Julie Burton at our #30Seconds chat and then with Sheryl Gould and Kelli Schulte on #30Seconds Live. Self-care is so important, and yet most moms feel guilty for taking care of themselves because it then somehow means we're not caring for others. I simply love your word, "self-ness." We all need a bit more balance in that regard. Thank you for the inspiration, hollybrownMFT ! xoxo
Holly Brown MFT
Glad to kick off such great discussions!

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