Note to Parents - It's Not All About the Kids: How to Find a Middle Ground With Self-ness! by Holly Brown MFT
5 years ago
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New parents hear it all the time: "It's not about you anymore; it's about the kids." Selflessness is in. Selfishness is out. Got it. What's always struck me is that there's no word in the English language for maintaining a healthy self. I'd propose one: self-ness. After all, if one end of the continuum is selfishness and the other is selflessness, shouldn't there be some middle ground? Perhaps self-ness is that middle ground.
Balance is key in mental health. That doesn't change just because you've given birth. We encourage our kids to find and then be their authentic selves, and one of the best ways to do that is by modeling it. That means having a self of your own. Remember what you love besides your kids and nurture it.