blog » October 17, 2016 by Donna John

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) With Kelli Schulte! by Donna John

7 years ago
The Importance of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) With Kelli Schulte!

So much has been written about how critical Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is for one's academic, professional and personal success. But what is EQ and why is it so darn important? 30Seconds contributor Kelli Schulte, a certified EQ coach with Six Seconds, joined us this week to talk about the importance of EQ. Read on...

Q: What do you think it means to have Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

  • EQ is about being smart with your feelings, by blending thoughts and feelings together.
  • EQ is about being self-aware so that you can identify and understand the meaning of your emotions.
  • EQ is about choosing an intentional RESPONSE versus REACTing in the heat of the moment.
  • EQ is about recognizing and connecting with others’ emotions and feelings.

Q: The world would be a better place if we all learned to use EQ. Why do you think that is?

  • People with greater than average EQ have healthier relationships.
  • People with greater than average EQ are more effective.
  • People with greater than average EQ have a greater sense of well-being. Less stress, greater balance and health.
  • People with greater than average EQ have greater overall life.

Q: It’s important to help our kids grow in their EQ. What effect do you think EQ has on kids?

Kids with above average EQ:

  • perform better at school
  • have healthier relationships with peers and adults
  • are less likely to engage in risky behaviors
  • have way more empathy for those around them.

Q: What are some ways you can begin to develop your EQ?

Learn to stop and name your feelings. Feelings provide data points to help you navigate life. Recognize what feelings create an auto-pilot reaction. Example: When I feel disappointed, I hide how I really feel. Before you react with words, ask:

  • Does this need to be said?
  • Does this need to be said by me?
  • Does this need to be said by me now?

Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand what else may be going on.

Q: What happens when you experience an extreme emotion, like anger? What kind of autopilot reaction do you have?

When you perceive a threat, the brain bypasses the cortex (thinking brain) and moves directly to the Amygdala. The Amygdala sends out peptides and hormones. That’s why we tense up, or our heart races when we perceive threat. Those peptides dissipate after 6 seconds. That’s why your momma told you to count to 10 before you say anything! Sometimes this type of reaction can help us, other times, it can lead us to say something we regret later.

Q: How do you think you can use EQ to prevent reacting in the heat of the moment so you can make an intentional choice?

  • Pay attention to the many emotions that are bubbling up in the moment. If you can name them, you can tame them.
  • Take a 30-second pause! Slow down so you don’t REACT. What are your emotions telling you?
  • Engage the thinking part of your brain to navigate the emotion. What do you want to happen in this situation?
  • Consider how the other person may be feeling. Maybe they are similar. Seek to understand and connect.

Q: How can you promote EQ at home, at work, at school?

  • Talk about how you feel in the moment. Recognize patterns that lead to a reaction.
  • Be a role model. Encourage others to talk about feelings. When blended with thinking, they can help us act with EQ.
  • Catch yourself saying, “Don’t feel ____." We need to stop stuffing or ignoring feelings and instead learn what they mean.
  • Listen more. Talk less. Seek to understand what is going on beneath the surface in others.
  • Don’t forget to take that 30-second pause when you catch yourself reacting vs. choosing an intentional response.

Be sure to follow  @IcoachEQ, visit, like her on Facebook and check out her 30Seconds page!

Chef Gigi
I'm already feeling emotionally intelligent just RSVP'ing ! Can't wait to learn what this is all about Kelli Schulte
Can't wait for this discussion
30Second Mom Contest Entries great topic tonight! I can use some great tips!
Donna John
What a great chat tonight! Thank you, Kelli Schulte for enlightening us and helping us learn about EQ. Such an important topic. And thank you, Holly Budde, for hosting! Mei Marcie Chef Gigi Gaggero Amanda Jan Mostrom lorri langmaid Lorri Langmaid Sharon Toni B Chrissy Jones (to name a few!)
Dr. Shayna Mancuso
Great talk! Thank you so much
Naimah Razak
Aw man, I need to get a desk calendar to remind me of these night! Thanks for posting though :)

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