Does Your Facebook-Self Resemble Your True-Self? Before That Next Status Update, Read This! by Dr. Jamie Krenn

Does Your Facebook-Self Resemble Your True-Self? Before That Next Status Update, Read This!

A “Facebook-self” study focused on the need for many to have a false-self. The evidence showed that mothers may present a happy home, without noting trying times. Why? Putting on a good face seems to be a drive within some to reach better self-esteem or to keep unhappiness hidden. 

The need to have the false-self visible on a digital platform is an unusual trend that has taken shape over the last several years for a variety of reasons. Evidence shows that mothers may present a happy home with a newborn, without making note of the trying times (such as late-night feedings or endless diaper changing actions). 

Is it healthy to present a false Facebook-self to keep up with the Joneses? Should we begin to review our profiles and decide if what we post expresses our true life? Perhaps what we don’t post could be a starting conversation with others in similar situations to assist in building coping mechanisms.

What do you think??

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Elisa Schmitz
This is a fascinating trend. I think it's true that many of us only want to share the positive. However, I also think that many people use social media to share the negative, both for support and to know they are not alone. This year alone, I have supported many of my friends in need, via social media (and through GoFundMe, etc). It's an incredibly powerful tool that allows us to know much more about each other than ever before, and I think it's up to each person to decide what they are comfortable sharing. Thanks for raising the issue, Dr. Jamie Krenn . What do you think, Donna John Nicole DeAvilla Kim Kusiciel Ann Marie Gardinier Halstead Mike Prochaska ?
Mike Prochaska
It Facebook post what you want to
Post. Some times you don’t want everyone knowing all your business so people only post the good stuff. Both there also those people who post bad stuff Just to have a pity party too. Life has up and down. If u want to share all the ups u should share the downs too some times but I feel like if u need support on fb that what those private groups are for. Like parents groups, I know I have a group I goto to get advice for other dads but Really my answer is it just Facebook... Dobt take it to seriously.
Nicole DeAvilla
In some ways its not much different than what we talk about when we see each other in the grocery store line or some other public place. There is a time and place for everything. Even though we control who are friends are, FB is a pretty public place.

Some things are better left said to a select close friend or two. At other times, we may want to publicly reach out for support when that type of community bolstering can help us through a difficult time social media is great. As far as a clean house or a messy one, we usually do pick up our house when we are having over more than our most intimate friends. so why not make it look a little nicer for that photo.

The problem that can occur on social media is two fold. One, entirely replacing our friendships and interactions via social media and not getting out to connect with others in person. Two, our own perceptions must be moderated to realize that most people are putting on a smile for the camera, moving the clutter out of sight for the perfect shot, and that most people are not going to air their dirty laundry on social media. In other words as we long as we know that we are seeing the "company" version of someone's life, then we know not to compare it to our day to day messy lives.

And then just as in person, there are people with no filters who do constantly air their dirty laundry so to speak on social media. We know who they are and that's ok.

I think we need to be real, not say something untruthful, and allow somethings to be public and some things in our lives just can and should be private.

I think we need to have perspective when we read what others post. Then we won't feel they need to sanitize (vs Spruce up) our posts or pretend to be someone we are not.

Thanks for bringing up this topic Dr. Jamie Krenn !
Elisa Schmitz
Great feedback, Mike Prochaska and Nicole DeAvilla ! I love this, Nicole: "In other words as we long as we know that we are seeing the 'company' version of someone's life, then we know not to compare it to our day to day messy lives." Excellent point. We could even assume there's a "filter" (like on Instagram) on many of these posts (text can be just as filtered as photos)! Thanks for weighing in with your thoughts. Dr. Jamie Krenn

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