Teen Dating: My 14-Year-Old Daughter Has Her First Boyfriend (and It's Not As Bad As I Imagined) by Heather Holter
My 14-year-old daughter, who’s in 9th grade, recently announced that she has a boyfriend. I tried to remain calm, but on the inside I was freaking out! I never had any intention to let her date this young. I thought she would be older.
I asked her who her boyfriend is, and when she replied, my response wasn't so nice. "That tiny Mexican kid you have known since first grade?" For days, I had worst-case scenario visions of her getting pregnant and me raising the kid while she finished high school. Turns out, I overreacted a bit.
I changed my mind pretty quickly. This boy is very nice. He is 15 and very polite. He has spent quite a lot of time at our house, and our family went to his family's house for Christmas Eve dinner. I have spoken to his mother about "the rules," and have spoken to the kids about their expectations and intentions. The rules are simple:
- They are never alone and spend most of their time in the main living area.
- If they go into her room, the door remains open.
They both want to take things slow and have no intention to engage in sex anytime soon. The extent of their physical relationship is holding hands, closed-mouth kissing and hugging.
I really love this boy. He is kind, caring, helpful and respectful. An all-around amazing young man. He asks my permission for every little thing regarding my daughter. He helps clean up after dinner. Most importantly, he really cares for my girl. He even got us our first family dog, and she is such a sweet little thing! Perhaps he was trying to win us over? He really is the best. I hope he sticks around for a while.
If you find yourself freaking out when your teen gets his or her first boyfriend or girlfriend, take a deep breath and talk to everyone involved and get to know the kid. It probably isn't as bad as you think!