Girls Should Not Be Sexually Assaulted at School: Here's What Happened to Me and #WhyIDidntReport by Heather Holter

Teens Headlines Opinion
5 years ago

Girls Should Not Be Sexually Assaulted at School: Here's What Happened to Me and #WhyIDidntReport

Have you seen this post? This sickens me. The girl was touched inappropriately, and when she told, she was dismissed as if it was nothing! They said she wasn't being clear when she said no. So then she takes matters into her own hands to make sure she is being clear, and then is threatened with expulsion when all the while the boys got away with it! No consequences. It's no wonder so many girls don't tell when they have been sexually assaulted. 

I am one of them. As a schoolgirl, I also experienced sexual assault at school. One boy in particular liked to grab my backside and moan in my ear every time I was getting supplies from the art cupboard. Others saw him and they all laughed. No one cared. He was popular. I wasn't. Whenever I wore a skirt, this same boy would get behind me going up the stairs and reach under my skirt and poke me, nearly penetrating me with his finger. Just like the other situation, others saw and laughed. I was an object, a plaything. Another time, a boy pulled down his pants on the bus and showed me his erect penis! It was mortifying. Others laughed. It is very hard to concentrate at school when this stuff is happening to you. Each time, I felt like crying.

I was embarrassed and ashamed. I felt like it was my fault or maybe it was supposed to be funny and I was just making too big a deal over it. The thing is, it is a big deal! We can't let our girls continue to be molested! It is a violation of their bodies. By doing nothing, we teach them that anyone is allowed to do whatever they like to you. This should not be so! 

The boys who behave this way need to be made an example of, and we need to teach our own boys about respect and consent. Also, the girls need to tell, no matter how hard it is. Maybe someday things will change.

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Elisa Schmitz
Oh my gosh, Heather Holter , I am so sorry for what you went through. This is disgusting and hurtful and there's no excuse for it. The example you shared above, as well as your own experiences, are so upsetting. You would think that we as a society would have progressed since the years you were in school so that this generation would have less trauma. Apparently we haven't. And yet there is hope. The #MeToo movement has woken up many people and I hope change is on the way. Thank you for sharing this. xoxo
Heather Holter
I am guessing many girls share my experience and like me, didn't speak up! Yes it is disgusting!
Jessica Acree
You are now counted among the brave... who are speaking up for the greater good. I am so sorry... :-( Your last line says it all...

"The boys who behave this way need to be made an example of, and we need to teach our own boys about respect and consent. Also, the girls need to tell, no matter how hard it is. Maybe someday things will change."

Someday is now... <3
Heather Holter
Thank you! I don't define it as brave though, I call it doing the right thing to try to make it stop and help the other girls. It was hard to write for sure and brought me back to that time, but this time instead of shame I just feel enraged! Enraged that it happened and is still happening! Be the change!
Ann Marie Patitucci
Thank you for sharing your story, Heather Holter . I have no doubt that it will help someone. I’m so sorry for what those boys did to you. We need to do so much better for our daughters. We need to teach our sons about consent. #timesup
Haralee Weintraub
Disgusting that a male school principal was not helpful!
Rebecca Olkowski
That's such a horrifying story. She shouldn't have been punished for wearing that tee shirt. So sorry about what happened to you too.

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