Widowers & Widows: Is It Possible to Bounce Back & Move Forward? by Rick St. Peter
So I moved.
September 20 will mark the third anniversary of the passing of my wife. She was diagnosed in South Carolina, treated in South Carolina and passed away in South Carolina. Her presence was everywhere, and I felt I was walking a delicate tightrope in attempting to honor her memory while trying to move on. I also felt like I was falling off the tightrope more often than not.
I am writing this because today while unpacking some boxes, my son and I found a bunch of pictures of her – of us as a family – and he wanted to put them out in the living room. I didn't, and I had to explain to him why. I need this to be my house. I need there to not be ghosts here. I need to be able to move forward.
My son was great! He said he absolutely understood. He has had to understand too much as a 13-year-old. But I still feel guilty. I felt like I fell off the tightrope again and for the first time since moving to Louisiana, I retreated to my room to hide from the world.
Is it possible to move on? Is there a shot clock on grief? Right now, grief feels like addiction. Just when you think you've conquered it, it comes roaring back. So my struggle continues.
I just want to move on.