Widowers & Widows: Is It Possible to Bounce Back & Move Forward? by Rick St. Peter

Single Dads
5 years ago

Widowers & Widows: Is It Possible to Bounce Back & Move Forward?

So I moved.

September 20 will mark the third anniversary of the passing of my wife. She was diagnosed in South Carolina, treated in South Carolina and passed away in South Carolina. Her presence was everywhere, and I felt I was walking a delicate tightrope in attempting to honor her memory while trying to move on. I also felt like I was falling off the tightrope more often than not.

I am writing this because today while unpacking some boxes, my son and I found a bunch of pictures of her – of us as a family – and he wanted to put them out in the living room. I didn't, and I had to explain to him why. I need this to be my house. I need there to not be ghosts here. I need to be able to move forward.

My son was great! He said he absolutely understood. He has had to understand too much as a 13-year-old. But I still feel guilty. I felt like I fell off the tightrope again and for the first time since moving to Louisiana, I retreated to my room to hide from the world.

Is it possible to move on? Is there a shot clock on grief? Right now, grief feels like addiction. Just when you think you've conquered it, it comes roaring back. So my struggle continues.

I just want to move on.

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Melissa Hurt
I once heard an interview of a woman who had lost her grown son to cancer say that she never moves on from the grief, but it has colored her and has changed her perspective of the world forever. It's like... she and everything around her is now water-stained blue and it's by coming to terms with that that she can function in the world again. Sending love to you, Aiden, and Olivia!
Elisa Schmitz
I am so sorry for your loss, Rick St. Peter . I can't imagine the pain your family has been through and continues to feel. I know you are not alone, however, and that you touch many people when you share your heart. Thank you for sharing it here. I'm so grateful you're part of our community. Please keep voicing what's inside you, we are here with you! Roxane Goss Stephen Dimmick Rick Peter
Roxane Goss
The pain of losing a spouse is a pain like no other. I’ve been there. Yet, I can’t imaginr your specific pain! Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing here Rick St. Peter! As you work through the pain, it will ease and you may not move on, but you will move forward and the memories and pictures will be something you dearly cherish. I hope you don’t mind if I suggest this. Maybe your son can have a few photos in a book for now to support where he is on this journey since it’s still so hard for you! We all grieve differently and all need different things at any given time and that’s perfectly ok! Sending prayers to you and your son! 💕

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